Illmaculate vs. The Saurus [Lyrics]

[Round 1: The Saurus]

Now he’s beat me once, in case y’all haven’t seen his fucking resume
But he was lucky, let’s just say: weakest judgment ever made
So I’ma feed my hunger while I’m beating up this featherweight
If you want beef, then fuck it, I ain’t eaten lunch since yesterday
If you’ve watched WRC enough
You’d seen this sucker getting saved
Spit some filler, weak as fuck, then Peter comes to rescue Greg
Tell you what: give me the money, each of us are getting paid
And we’ll just call this even from me cleaning up the mess you made
Compared to me this chump’s at least a hundred steps away
You’re always gonna be the one that people underestimate
I’ll turn this to a scene for the police to come investigate
Cause either Real Deal just shrunk, or he’s in fucking second grade
To say you should be ashamed of yourself’s accurate
Once one of the best in the game but he fell back a bit
Cause you were only great when I gave you some help, faggot bitch
Change your name from “Ill” to taking an L-maculate
Now this is hard for me to say cause I’m usually very civiled
But anything you’ll do today is an improvement compared to Grizzle
The feeling that I have’s the same in every round I seen
It was like, “Way to go homie, thanks for letting down the team.”
Man, what the fuck… no wonder you kept the people waiting
While they speak on who’s the best between us
Endlessly debating
I’ll turn this to your funeral, come dressed for the occasion
Look: what used to be a legend is just a memory that’s fading

[Round 1: Illmaculate]

I know you’re up for any challenge, this time you’ll get sent to the ER
I got a challenge for you, and if you accept it, it’d be hard
For the rest of this battle, I dare you not to sweat like a retard
And lose your breath every three bars… watch him!
See, you lost to the guy that lost to Mosh, Collide and Jaze… right?!
YOU should probly die of aids…twice!
You should probly die a lotta violent ways:
Sodomized by blades, tossed a live grenade
Or eaten alive from the inside
By the creatures that occupy your face
I seen your last battle
There’s no way that your counter threats can stop me
This clown is getting cocky, listen funny guy:
It ain’t double time just cause you rhyme out of breath and sloppy
He set up that round like it was fucking dope
I thought he was gonna make music or talk without sounding gay
I mean, he said it was outside of his comfort zone
It don’t matter if I’m short or from Portland
Your loss to storm was important
That was an embarrassment of enormous proportions
Like a The Saurus performance
You’re nothing but jokes with a weak percentage of skill
You do what everyone else does
And then try to act like you re-invented the wheel
Like, “I’ll call Madness fat…
Dumbfoundead? I’ll use race jokes for him.”
Then someone mentions that thing above his neck
And he’s like, “ho-ho-ho, face jokes again!”
Like you’re so outside the box!
That double time was horrible and then some
Funny only time he went outside the box
Was right before Storm put him in one

[Round 2: The Saurus]

It’s funny how he talked about that Jonny dude to me
Cause I’ve beat Madness more than once and he bodied you in three
If I had a nickel for every bar you jacked from Sykull
He would had a 50 grand
Illmacu-little wasn’t packing pistols back at Scribble Jam
Wait, I don’t want y’all cats to miss the magic trick I planned
Now watch me turn this rapping midget to a sacrificial lamb
You’re putting people on the map who shouldn’t be contenders
You ain’t rolling with crooks and thieves
And pushing keys, whatever
To reiterate what Soul Khan said but put it even better
If Sandpeople was Wu-Tang…you wouldn’t be a member!
You’ve had crooked teeth forever
And something stunted your growth
You’ve gone from up-and-comer to number one
To the fucking butt of a joke
Now testing me, that’s some suicidal shit he did
The margin that you’re losing by is pretty big
And now I gotta euthanize a guinea pig
I’ll crucify you little kid, consider this redemption
I’ll clench my fist and send him to a different dimension
You’ll never win without me
So why does this guy from Portland battle?
I mean, Scottie Pippen has always lived in Michael Jordan’s shadow
And if he thinks he’s beating me tonight, this cat is dreaming
He’s so tiny that I have to squeeze my eyes like that to see him
Why do you have such a fucked up smile, Mac? The reason:
This hamster tried to bite the hand that feeds him
So I just bashed his teeth in
You’ll never beat me, I’m way too clever
So instead of hating, start writing me a thank you letter
Because I made you better

[Round 2: Illmaculate]

It’s Peter the Poor sport! Every time he loses he pouts and he wines
Then he takes his aggression out and screams loud when he rhymes
But if there’s a reason my buzz want amount to his shine
It’s cause the net nerds want someone they can relate to and rally behind
But look Pete, we met in 2005…
’06 and ’07, that was a mountain to climb
It’s been two years since then
I’ve put three projects out in that time
Do the math, bitch: it’s 2009
And you still haven’t been on a album of mine!
Talk about Spin the Mic, that was cute but that was foolish
You cats are clueless
This poor sport… every time this faggot loses, he throws a fit
Shit, sometimes there’s a hat included!
You’re a nerdy queer, this should be the last battle of your career
And you’re gonna learn some shit about this person here
I mean remember in Vegas when we lost one round
And you were on the verge of tears
I was in the hotel room coaching him like
“Come on, Pete, we can persevere!”
Remember when you were turning yourself inside out
Pulling your hair like, “Everyone bit my style!”
I had to tell him he made the kid quite proud
When in reality I’m thinking, “you acting like a lil bitch right now!”
Peter, don’t act like I’m lying, I ain’t make this up
He lost to Dizaster and called me up after
Crying like I gave a fuck… I didn’t
He said, “murder Diz for me”
And wished me best luck, I said, “fuck, I’ll try…”
I even told Diz, “TheSaurus got jerked”
But hey ock, guess what? I lied!

[Round 3: The Saurus]

Now it was obvious to me the type of shit that he’d do
Go on and on ’bout how I don’t make music sicker than you
He pressed a double album with Only, a kid from his crew
That’s two CDs, only one was worth listening to
We were certainly a ruthless combo
So I thought you’d murk Conceited, ruin Hollow…
It was worth it being proven wrong though
Cause now every person sees:
Without assitance from a verse from me, you lose a lot bro
Im a Herculean human God so
Thoughts of serving me are foolish also
It hurts to be this truthful, dawg…
But I got better after surgically removing Quato
This little guy is so frail, he’s septum sniffing giant coke rails
He’s too small to drive a car so he sticks to riding coattails
I brought him to the WRC with me
He got all excited like, “when’s the battle gonna start, Pete??”
And I’m like, “settle down, Greg
Let me unstrap you from your car seat”
He won’t have a fucking heartbeat
When this gnome is getting ripped apart
You’re supposed to be the sickest
I’m not totally convinced you’re hard
Hopefully I won’t just be some nobody you disregard
When you find out I told Dizaster what a low-life piece of shit you are!
Now I openly admit your bars are far from mediocre
But with all the Ls you take it must be hard to keep composure
He hasn’t found his identity
So I’m ’bout to put you out of your misery
Now hold your breath and count to infinity
You haven’t won since ’07, tonight you’ll follow tradition
You make Grind Time Northwest look like an awful decision
But you really got put in an ironic position
By becoming the president of the smallest division

[Round 3: Illmaculate]

That was a awesome verse for me
I bet you wish that skin graft had gone as perfectly
I mean, did the hospital at least had the common courtesy
To fire the doctor that botched your surgery?
See you’re just a frail bitch to me
And after my first two bars you trailed instantly
Cuz remember that “try to not sweat or lose your breath” challenge? Well… you failed miserably!
So look, tell me: did Peter really picked a peck of pickled peppers?
Check the Scribble records
You and Adeem both won twice, right? Well…
You faggots can go and suck a dick together!
I don’t even know what you gotten in Hip-Hop for
But there’s a reason I get props more
I make dope songs and I’ve actually been on tour
AND my intro music shits on yours!
You are honestly wack
Fuck “The Saurus vs Illmaculate”
They shouldn’t even be calling it that!
They should be calling this
“Quality rap” vs The Saurus’ “comedy/novelty act”
That’s why when you picked your career
I’m annoyed you chose rapping
You think this boy can go platinum?! It won’t happen!
See, you got a face for radio and a voice for closed caption
So I got some questions that’ll change your perspective
I know no one can mess with us as partners
But which one of us can quit battling right now
And still be respected as a artist?
Which one of us can give a FUCK about this battle
Long as they have all the cash when it ends?
And which one of us is clinging to battling
Like it’s all he has cause it is?

[Round 4: Illmaculate]

Aight, it’s OT… off top, in a fucking confrontation I will snuff you
I mean, look at your music and how long it’s taken you to hustle
“Ho-ho that was dope–” shut the fuck up!
I’d have enough of them bitchass non-rhyming conversational rebuttals
We get it, Pete, you’re a comical asshole
But y’all have heard battle rappers can’t make music, right?
Well here’s a walking example!
And that’s the reason I’ll never walk in your shadow
I mean, what happened?
It looks like piranhas attacked you
While you were bobbing for apples
C’mon Lush, that mug has become infamous for fucking up businesses
Don’t believe me? Here’s a couple of instances:
You won Scribble and WRC twice
They’re both bankrupt now… what a fucking coincidence!
I understand that life’s a lesson
So when people say he carried the team, I don’t stress ’em
Knowing they’d think a lot differently
If they knew all the lines I’ve fed him
Fuck it… his last four bars against his 1st round against Madness?
That was me!
His Dumbfoundead “make me a cell phone with tape and some velcro”… That was me!
His entire double time round against Storm… okay, that was you!
His WRC “doggy daycare, but you probably ate there”
Punchline of the week… that was me!
And it’s sad to see, because before every battle this faggot Pete
Hits me up like, “Hand me schemes, I need ammo, please”
And there’s plenty more, I just gave you those examples free
That way when you watch a The Saurus battle, think
While you’re rooting for him, you’re actually just a fan of me!

[Round 4: The Saurus]

Your biters are bigger faggots…that wasn’t even a punchline
How could you forget that you’ll never be boss?
He probably suffers from short-term memory loss
When you got beat by Conceited it sure looked easy to ether
This three foot tall leading star of Leave It To Keebler
Just keep your mouth closed, it needs to be sown shut
He still dreams of what he wants to be when he grows up
While he sleeps inside his shoebox he refers to as a better mattress
Blankets: seven napkins, and his pillow is a ketchup packet
So truthfully you and me are nothing alike
Cause I’m Geppetto — the dude to bring a puppet to life
You won’t ever be a man or be ahead of me regardless
You were barely second best before your legacy was tarnished
Now he just can’t get a win, as hard as mini Mac tries
Cause it’s tougher when he’s not getting a piggy-back ride
Teaming with this guy, and speaking of his size
Just imagine how small he feels on the inside
You were a backpacker nerd, but now you’re sparking the tool?
Deep In? It’s deep for you in the shallow part of the pool
Fuck all the holding back
I’ll start a domino effect
That’ll knocking over Mac until his collar bone’ll snap
Just so y’all are told the facts:
He’s not as dope, he’s soft and broke
And you wouldn’t be shit without me… ALL I KNOW IS THAT!

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