Dizaster & Okwerdz vs. Tenchoo & Lego [Lyrics]

[Round 1: Dizaster]
Now I’m gonna need everybody in the room to brace yourself
Especially you Tenchoo, I’ma really need you to brace yourself
Now you might be tall and enormous
But you look like Storm crossed with a Brontosaurus
You’re a fuckin’ Johnny Storm-ist

Except he hasn’t robbed The Saurus
Now when they said I was battlin’ Tenchoo, I said, “WHO?”
Motherfucker you should change your name to “10 Views”
Are these the best dudes that won your 2 on 2 tournament?
If you really break it down I don’t think they deserve the shit
Eurgh…listen man, cause in the finals your opponents had the hotter quotes
And honestly you wouldn’t have got the votes if it wasn’t for your pussy ass Scottish jokes
Don’t try to shake your head like the shit isn’t true
You even said it yourself at the end of the fuckin’ interview
Now let me guess, you’re gonna use the same embarrassing tactics
Call us both, “Arrogant, American faggots”
Start comparin’ Diz to Arabic terrorist factions
The same way you called the Scottish kids “heroin addicts”

And you have a terrible accent
And I’m sparkin’ things
Homie don’t get it crackin’ I’ll knock your fuckin’ lights out
Let me guess Tenchoo, I’m Arabic and I have eyebrows
How the fuck are you gonna clap me with the magnum?
Bruv, your handgun is literally a hand gun
Don’t shake your hand
How the fuck do you say you got burner’s fam’?
The only reason you got hammers is because you look like Anton Ferdinand
I can already tell he’s gonna suck bruv it’s like my mind’s psychic
He thinks he’s like minded to a crime hybrid cause he rhymes violent
When he drops lines he squints his eyes like this

And my fans, want me to battle white guys from Grind Time, instead of motherfuckers from Smack
So are you happy now people, here’s one…and a half
And for such a little bitch you have a really large dome
And it’s ironic you got yo’ ass beat by Bartone
Now listen, against O’shea, in every single round this kid lost
That’s the first time I ever seen a scowzer get robbed
Oh Tenchoo, Tenchoo, Tenchoo
Why are you teamed up with red shoes, red shoes, red shoes?
And it’s funny, you’re the worst in the pair and you’re barely fatal
Cause you’re like Toys R’ Us cause you always carry Lego

You should pull a blade out and slice him in half
It’s ironic you said Toys R’ Us cause bruv; you look like the giraffe
Dragon Ball Z reference, I’ll show up to your 9 to 5 and smash
Lift myself up like Fajita to freeze myself in the sky and laugh
And hit your whole entire staff with a fuckin’ final flash
If you survive the blast
I’ll headbutt you with an iron mask and give you a giant gash
You tried to dash then gasoline shower plus the flame thrower that equals fire bath
I’m a fuckin’ maniac on a suicidal path
Without us? You two couldn’t find your path
You have the swagger of a faggot that’s really tryin’ to pass his science class
I will stab you in your eyes with a knife made from fiber glass
What kind of crap, I mean, your rhymes are wack
If HighCollide was white and black he would rhyme like that

What kind of fuckin’ smile is that?!

Nah bruv, don’t pay attention every time he yaps
His mouth is like the subway station: mind the gap
Beating us? You don’t have the slightest chance
The first time I saw Lego the first time I glanced
I imagined him spitting up giant spiderwebs from inside his hand
Faggot! You look like Spider Man
You wear tighter pants than Michael when he tries to dance
You’re so gay the inside of your diaphragm says, “I’m from France.”
I dare Tenchoo to come up here and give me that fuckin’ tiger stance
I’ma beat your ass like a fuckin’ pissed of Manchester United fan

And instead of dissin’ where we from you should THANK America
For bringin’ battle rap to your native area
Now they say I don’t travel past the Fresh Coast of The Bay
But I don’t mean the TV show when I say we can beat you both Home or Away

[Round 1: Tenchoo]
I have got a gap in my teeth, you learned it bitch
You wanna know what the worst thing is?
The nipple on your girlfriends tit provides the perfect fit
And I am the Lego giraffe, I got a better flow and bust too
So I ain’t just talkin’ ’bout height when I’m head and shoulders above you

Now when there isn’t any weed to buy and needs a high
He uses a penis between his thighs as a shisha pipe
Fuck these two faggot whores
Eurgh only wanted the crowd to move back some more because of his huge massive massive jaw

Seriously man you that…all that shit about my head c’mon that shit isn’t fair
Bruv, do a 180, there’s a fuckin’ mirror there
Yo and I don’t give a fuck what this rhymer thinks
He ain’t inclined to win
All the fuckin’ facial air in the world couldn’t hide your chin

Time for us to make this stupid idiot panic
He’s always talkin’ shit but I don’t think that he’ll back it
At Battle Of The Bay once he’d finished dissin’ Organik
He said, “Canadians are cool but the British are faggots”

You know what? I’m gonna send both of these faggots straight to Hell first
You’re Arabic with eyebrows, I’m gonna diss you about it…well duh
Seriously, yo…stop laughin’ too man
I’ll fuckin’ come round your town and torch your mosque
I’ll snatch your magic carpet and haul it off to a broad enormous swarm of moths

And if drinkin’ alcohol is such a bad Islamic sin
No way could this Arab fat Dizaster handle gin (Jin)
So we can clash at Scribble Jam or even battle in Iran
I’ll beat this sacrificial lamb and feed him packs of British ham

Nah, nah, nah, Lego on the real he ain’t a Muslim, what the fuck are you talkin’ about?
The other day, he was caught in his house with his pork in his mouth
Yo, and the way that you shout your raps isn’t cool
I doubt you’d even get a crowd reaction and “oooh”
If you didn’t act like such a loud theatrical fool

And this faggot loves wrestling so much I’m astounded
Even his bed has got rubs and turnbuckles around it
So when he gets in bed with women
You think he’s gonna use a sex position
But they end up in a leg submission

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo fuck that bullshit man
Him being a wrestler can’t be bad
With a head as large as that, you could cheat in a casket match
Nah, nah, nah x that shit out yeah
He ain’t a wrestler, he ain’t developed muscles yet
But he’s got absolutely no problem slamming Dizaster here onto a double bed

You always jumpin’ about you muscle bound ugly clown
Them bushy brows look like fuckin’ thunder clouds
And you haven’t got a chance of winnin’
You only battle with him cause you have a thing for Palestinian Arab women

Nah, nah, nah I doubt this Arab citizen is even Palestinian
He looks like Apache Indian if crack conditioned him

See this stupid guy’s trippin’
I hope your family take you on a suicide mission just so you can die with ’em
And you’ve got most of your human rights missin’
How is it acceptable to blow yourself up but to euthanize isn’t?

[Round 2: Dizaster]
Bitch! Suicide mission? You look like you just screwed like five children
And he said I’m not fuckin’ Arabic, what are you talkin’ about?
So I guess we heard the truth we heard it all come out
Cause we heard it straight from a horse’s mouth
Now if I smacked you in your braids, I would drag your ass away
Then I woke up to him in a pun-ching face
Pun ching face? Where the fuck did the “your” go?
Even people in London say “your” you fuckin’ illiterate hobo
And I don’t mean to bring up jokes about horses and sports yo
But if you jumped on his back then both of you homos look like the logo Polo

[Okwerdz] And these bitches? Toby Maguire
[Dizaster] Seabiscuit

And your career is an epic fail just like your last episode of Emmerdale
Look, I read some of the Youtube comments and they said, “LOL, Tenchoo’s hella pale”
And you look like alpha male
Bitch I’ll put you in a bag then a box like Zinfandale
The first time the mission failed but now you gettin’ bombed twice like the British rail

[Dizaster] He wants to be a ninja so bad…

…that he changed his name to Tenchoo MC
But faggot you’re 7’3″
How fuckin’ stealth could you be?
You fucking redwood tree
Tryin’ to be the new Bruce Leroy
And your partner raps with a sheep’s voice

Now I’m from Lebanon so you know I’ve seen sheeps a lot
But for some odd reason this sheep seems to speak a lot
And on the real you wanna be Asian so bad you’d eat your own dog
Then you went home and hung up a poster of Ghost Dog
These rap jokes are classified
I’ll eat both of y’all even if I have no appetite
Slash throats, and he’ll cry
Jab throats, smash his eye
Asshole, faggot die
Afro Samurai
Yo this faggot wants to be Asian so bad inside
He goes to sleep hoping he wakes up with slanted eyes
He gets mad when he’s in math class and he can’t divide
Cause he can’t help to bring out his blacker side
I bet when you practice, I bet when you prepare for your actual fights
You light incense and candle lights
Try to summon the spirit of the dragons of the afterlife
While you go on Facebook and press the Like button on everything that Tantrum writes
While he’s standing on a bag of rice
And that all happens to rhyme with Adam Bright
Faggot please
You tell bitches that you’re “blackanese”
And use knee pads to cover up your ashy knees
I mean look at you
You gotta be kidding yourself
I bet at home you got a Rush Hour DVD that sits on the shelf
And on the cover he cut out Chris Tucker and replaced it with a picture of himself
Bruv, Tenchoo is all about discipline, fitness and health
First day of karate class they already wanted to promote him and give him the belt
But they told him he wasn’t black enough to a ninja himself

And you’re a fuckin’ groupie, everybody knows it’s quite known
I bet the song on his iPhone is a song from Maestro
You probably have a sticker on the back door of your Rav4
That says, “I love Justin Task Force”
See, we’re the prize for you two winning rap wars
So just remember this is the ass whipping that you asked for
Listen, and I will punch these bastards
Drop ’em off in Hong Kong with some Kung-Fu masters
In a shirt that says, “I Love Dizaster”

Now you wanna diss me for being Arabic
I’m the king of racial disses, so if you racial diss me you better be unique
I can talk about how you ain’t fully black but I ain’t gonna get into all of that cause it’s too deep
You so butt hurt about being a mixed race that you lose sleep
You can’t slam dunk, jump or shoot 3’s
I bet you celebrate Black History Month for two weeks
I heard your mixtape, you think Tenchoo rhymes sick
Til I hit him with a muay thai kick to his rib cage
I’ll take a Swiss made switchblade to your bitch made French braids
Then give you a quick fade
You’ll have to change your nickname to Brit’ Swave
Fuck King Solomon I’m King James
The Don King like Ving Rhames
Slap your prom queen I’m Rick James
It’s an odd breed I’ve been strange
Leave your mom’s sheets with piss stains
Let your broad leave from dick pain
Then drop her off in bloody clothes on the wrong street with a Crip gang
And then have the pikes stomp her to the concrete of Brick Lane
All because these two faggots wanted someone who is top tier with a big name

Listen, this motherfucker thinks he’s rapping insane
But all your horse rebuttals and tall rebuttals sound EXACTLY the same
“Go look in the mirror there”
But you know what? We need to kill this shit while we out here in your country
So just to throw it in to get some reaction, fuck it, SPRUGGEY!

[Round 2: Lego]
Now fuck this Lebanese maggot
This the first time I’ve seen a special needs faggot in a leather sleeve jacket
I’ll leave your head impaled
Dizaster only hates on Emmerdale cause none of ’em sleep on a bed of nails

“The mirror’s over there” I never expected that
Bitch if you did turn around you would see the reflection crack
That’s right, admit it’s true
And you tried to call me “Tenchoo”
Bruv, your mom’s the one who wears a ninja suit

And this faggot used to be pretty fat
But now he’s a skinny twat so how did he get rid of that?
Well the gym has had him swimmin’ fast and sprintin’ laps in fitness class
By lurin’ him ’round with chicken wraps and shish kabobs

Nah, nah amazingly he became a slimmer cat
But that wasn’t chasin’ shish kabobs he was lured by a piece of string with a dick attached
Yo seriously, you need to step out of our area place
You are the ugliest member of the Aryan race by having a fucked up barbarian face

See this clown sucks balls
After seeing his head the ones on Mt. Rushmore now look small
It’s abnormally round and what’s that jaw all about?
It looks like he’s got Hey Arnold’s head caught in his mouth

On the real man you’ve got a BIG head
I have never seen one as massive as that
You look like a human body with a planet attached
And his whole life’s been one long balancin’ act
So don’t think for a minute you can come to England and conquer land
Just because your necks the next reliable candidate for The World’s Strongest Man

So fuck these square twats and their prepared raps
I’ll fuckin’ put a bear trap on your prayer mat
And what the fuck is with the size of that dome?
Mate them eyes are so close it’s like they’re tryin’ to spy on your nose

Yo I’ma victimize this bitch tonight
His frickin’ head is so big and wide that every mental disease could fit inside
Fuck you and your ridiculous video blogs
Yo this prick has literally got a head as big as The Wizard Of Oz

C’mon Dizaster, oh no, you’re a man with no notes, quit actin’ so tough
This Arab bloke loves Aladdin so much he started self harmin’ when him and Jasmine broke up

Now he claims to be hard but he’s been blatantly gay from the start
Cause whenever Diz’ bends down to pray to Allah he examines the shape of his ass
Seriously, yo now’s the perfect time to tell you none of your verses shine
All you do is pile a 139 words that rhyme and end it off with a controversial line

And fuck your pathetic life
You would sell your wife for any price just to get a new bed of spikes
Stick to makin’ bombs and I find it insanely wrong how you ride camels in more ways than one

Now, now, now I don’t really give a flyin’ fuck what this faggot thinks
He only teamed up with a camel cause he needs one to carry him
And what? You wanna yell like you’re aggressive yeah like you’re some heavy bread
Your uni-brow has got so much excessive hair that a pterodactyl can nest in there

Yo and me and Tenchoo were gettin’ darker than Jeffrey Dahlmer
Check it out it’s [?] wrestling partner
He loves it more than anything else
He puts on wrestling belts and watches Hell In The Cell as he caresses himself

Yo, you are a wrestler faggot, it’s about time you admit it’s true
But his head is so big and huge he puts pillows through submission moves

[Round 3: Dizaster]
Yo I got one rebuttal for all that Arabic shit
Fuck you you white person
Ain’t nobody puttin’ nothin’ in those submission moves
You said my mom wears a ninja suit
You’re just mad bruv’ cause you didn’t get one too

And he didn’t get the shoes

Now you wanna know what I think about this whole Don’t Flop event?
There’s too many men, too many many men, too many many men
We need some more girls in here (faggot!)
We need some more girls in here (faggot!)
We need some more girls in here (faggot!)
Now it’s only 55 pounds for a bottle but he doesn’t want to buy one
And he’s lookin’ for a girl but he just can’t find one
Everybody get down to the rhythm
Tenchoo’s known for being a backstabber so he broke up with him
Like Whiley you’re partnered up with someone else cause he can never be a woman

And we from the US so listen
This is an exhibition
I know we mad rude with a bunch of bad dudes and we like our fast food with extra fixins
And there ain’t nothin’ against the British but I hate the fuckin’ metric system
I’d rather measure inches
And drivin’ on the fuckin’ left is for bitches

Tenchoo, I’ll leave your neck with stitches
Lego you do Tenchoo’s dishes
I seen your motherfuckin’ bitch’s pictures on Facebook and that heifer’s vicious
Yo we came down from Manchester

And we came on the coach

Last rugby game you had

He CAME on the coach

Now if you didn’t drink and smoke you’d be one hell of an angry bloke
We seen your girl Rachael mate, her face is gross
She looks like the person Slimer from Ghostbusters before he became a ghost
You can laugh cause there’s no respondin’
Your girl looks like Boris Johnson
So how does it feel to know you’re datin’ the London mayor?
Just kiddin’ y’all, after I crush him she’s gonna fuck me later
Just kidding again, I’m not a chubby chaser and I don’t fuck rugby players
Now when we came down from London we were unprepared
Until I found out he was having a love affair with a hungry fuckin’ Gummy Bear
Shit stains on the back of her underwear

Man I double dare-

What? What? Talk about how her stomach in summer wear
Makes her look like a chunky pear?
If she ever got locked up you’d see that cunt get scared
She wouldn’t last more than a month in there
Not being able to smuggle in her fuckin’ Lunchables and her Tupperware
Just kidding again, she got locked up and she loved it there
The worst punishment she got is when they made her walk up the stairs
And she walked back down like, “This isn’t fuckin’ fair!
I wish I was at home with him braiding up his hair!”
Even if she cried to death I wouldn’t fuckin’ care
She’s about as retarded as you when you headbutt the air
What the fuck are you tryin’ to do Tenchoo? There’s nothing there!

And we’ve all seen Emmerdale so we did you bring her here to mingle?
And we know she’s a rapper but you’ll never release a single
Cause she looks like Lisa Dingle
And you put out your personal info so now we have to fuckin’ kill you
I swear to God she looks like Rumpelstiltskin
Plus she has Uncle Phil’s chin
I swear to God you would have some ugly children

I know you guys ain’t reactin’ because this shit is pretty cold
But all jokes aside your girl looks like Chucky’s Bride if she wasn’t so fuckin’ wide
If she doesn’t have you she’ll always have cupcakes on her side
I seen a fuckin’ kitchen Rachael, the pictures of a hundred pies
Which explains her love for guys that wouldn’t judge her by her stomach size
She got Hungry Hippo under thighs like she’s wearing a Big Pun disguise
She’s so fat she has chubby eyes
Just kidding y’all everything is gonna be okay
We didn’t even write for her, these were just the leftover bars for O’shea
We love you Rachael

The only reason you’re into Rachael is because she’s interracial
You fuck her on the picnic table

Now let’s see if this pitiful guy’s able get him to sign to a fuckin’ indie design label
I’d rather quit and resign than be a bitch on some guy’s payroll
I’ll take your wife and tie her to the side of a miniature size table
Then I’ll get her to try anal

But enough of her
See I fuck with Eurgh, Respect BA, Possessed because he’s tough
But the rest of these geek’s suck
I’ll fuck Professor Green UP!
Yeah bitch, yeah I’m really stylin’
Roll up in .50 Cal’ him while he’s with Lily Allen

[Round 3: Tenchoo]
You diss me about the way my head moves bruv, you do exactly the same thing
Ayo Cruger, I found the other fuckin’ Crey Twin

Yo he mentioned Lisa Dingle and it was very great
It’s funny mention her cause he’s the bitch that’s gettin’ raped
And this faggot is dumb
Give them dog tags back to your mum and tell her to quit shaggin’ her son

Now seriously yeah, this guy’s fuckin’ head
His head is a clone of the Millennium Dome
On the real bruv if you ever been told
You ain’t that fuckin’ successfully known
You’re fuckin’ on T-Rex’s….erected bone

I bet your dad has got a million lovers
And every minute you wonder, “Of all these women, which is my mother?”
So you best take advice you won’t get laid at night
When everyone knows you got a bed made of spikes

Wait a minute, yo did you just say he’s got a bed of spikes?
Well I fuckin’ pray that his arranged marriage is to a heavy wife
And to be honest man I wholeheartedly do not respect this dude
Yo you say that you don’t go for rugby player bitches, there’s one next to you

Yo you’ll never see him take a plane and land it
I’ll have you feelin’ pain and anguish
When I have you take advantage of a bacon sandwich
Fuck your pathetic life
He’s a terrorist so whenever Dizaster strikes he ends up in the afterlife

Now check it out, every clash yeah you display that same old panorama
“I’ll put on a balaclava like Alibaba and stab your father with a jagged part of [?]”
You sound like a twat Dizaster
And I know that you’re a suicidal Islamic martyr
For chosin’ this faggot as your battle partner

You don’t battle rap amazin’
You can find this angry wanker standin’ at a taxi station as he has his camel waitin’
Fuck this Arab cancer patient
I will smash Dizaster’s face in with a wrap a [?] bacon screamin’ “As-salamu alaykum!”

And now a days the standard’s sicker
So you ain’t gon’ win with that random filler
Now go back to your damn shanty villa and bathe your family in the Ganges River
Every time you see this guy rhyme, this cunt is angry
The only reason he’s come to clash me
Is cause on the way here I tried to bunk his taxi

And I swear I saw Dizaster on his travels
Practicin’ for battle as he’s rappin’ to his camel
So fuck this Arab lore
This faggot won’t shag a whore unless her fanny hole resembles a camel toe

And you’re the type of redneck wanna be Smack guy who I can’t respect
You can easily twist Marley’s dreads out of the eyebrows on Dizaster’s head
Yo, in the beginning Salar got wrecked
And then Hindu felt the wrath of death
And now Dizaster steps? C’mon Eurgh, is Osama next?
I surprised I ain’t battled his father yet

See this terrorist from Lebanon is not a clever one
He tried to send a letter bomb to the Pentagon but the address was wrong
And Okwerdz like to wrestle in a leather thong playin’ his entrance song screamin’ “Let’s get it on!”

Yo and this guy man, he’s a fuckin’ blatant queer
He didn’t get the address wrong to the Pentagon because his neighbor here
Ya head

Yo I hope you get stopped by the cops when you’re robbin’ a shop
And instead of takin’ ya hand they chop off your cock
And if you didn’t know this bloke is a camel breeder
Which would explain why most of them have his features

And Tenchoo’s about to come in and really speak it with the ill flow
If they chopped off his cock…he would keep it as a dildo
Seriously, I’ll kick ya fuckin’ ass and make you run a hundred yards
I ain’t seen his face since I was young lookin’ at a box of Lucky Charms

Yo I’ll put [?] in a coma
Your head’s larger than boulders
Ya got the Death Star on ya shoulders
And I swear Dizaster’s retarded
I hope your magical carpet happens to get clamped when you park it

And you know what? I hope you get a massive fine too ya wack rookie
It’s ironic you ride carpet but ain’t never had pussy
Someone really needs to tell Mowgli’s mom that the party’s over
I really do pity this bastard’s shoulders for having to hold up for [?]

See you’re like the Frankenstein version of [?]
I hope this faggot finds some ham inside the next kebab he buys
I’ll piss on the sands of time
I bet you fantasize over Arab guys with Jasmine’s eyes and Gandhi’s thighs

And seriously faggot you ain’t a hazardous freestyler
If you shaved your head bitch you’d look like Sagat from Street Fighter

Yo I’m not kiddin’ his missus is quite fine
But the only compliment I could give her was, “Nice eyes”
And trust me she’ll get beat in a fight
I’ll give her two black eyes and you won’t see her at night

Yo, now fuck this babblin’ lanky, theatrical Gandhi
The only reason he’s even actin’ all angry is to slyly try and distract the fact he’s a pansy
Yo, and in the WRC’s, he didn’t have a dramatic effect
He spat average lines that were average at best
But then tried to blame Syanide for his lack of success
And you know what?
It’s funny how now a days you ain’t on Syanide’s dick
Cause you found out he had the more explosive dynamite stick
It’s over man, that’s it

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