Uno Lavoz vs. F.L.O. [Lyrics]

[Round 1: F.L.O.]
Alright look, yo’ mama hella gangsta
Yo mama’s so gangsta she dip Saltine crackers in pig foot juice
She french braid Questlove hair from The Roots
She do security for Lil’ Wayne video shoots
She use Kool-Aid to dye Ghostface’s wallebee boots
Yo mama go hard really cause she never left Philly
And got a warrant for prostitution in like three different cities
She got a paternity lawsuit with that nigga P. Diddy
And a Big Daddy Kane tattoo on her left titty
I’m a black villain he’d have your back peeling
This is what it would look like if Kat Williams had had black children
Nigga, he’s so sweet his gums look gay
When that muhfucka shoot he bust this way “pew pew die niggas”
I will beat the breaks off this fucking fake
I thought Philly made cheese steak not fruit cakes
Him and his AA sponsor dress as drag queen Monsters
And take private helicopters to Lady Gaga concerts
Now nigga that don’t mean he gay
But he be in the front row screaming out, “I Was Born This Way”
Take it farther on this burrito truck worker
Make me a [?] burger or I’ll murder the princess of Persia
You are directly from the testies of Joe Pesci
You and your boyfriend Jessie think Allen Iverson is sooo sexy
Pigeon chest noodle arms, bitch boys do no harm
Your name Uno Lavoz oh shit I thought you was Bruno Mars

[Round 1: Uno Lavoz]
I said he said a lot of funny jokes, that was cool, that said it
He said I was born this way, what do you mean? Black with bad credit?
I did my research on F.L.O. and I found out he African
I mean as African as African can be, what you not?
Well you black, dirty and look hungry and that equals African to me
Bitch you can’t say that what I’m saying ain’t right
Nigga ya moms so African the bitch got an Egyptian 2Pac tattoo on her back
And above it says ‘Thug Circle Of Life’
Sometimes he be acting white
Then he say shit like, “radical dude” and “that was banging”
But backstage he thought I was racist cause he tried to slap to slap me five and I left him hanging
I said for real, I’m just gonna come out and say it
You used to be a slave
For real, who kidding?
Wanna know how I know you used to be a slave?
Cause that sweater is 100% cotton and you picked it
I said, but I’m ’bout to take his bitch away like a horse and carriage
Minute man fuck, I’m about to leave this whore embarrassed
Fuck cancer and AIDS, this is the biggest battle of your life and it’s gonna end up more than tragic
Oh you an O.G. in this game
Well you ain’t see what I did to Johnny Storm?
I make veterans back down from four battles and resort to marriage
I said I’m from Philadelphia, home of the natural born fighters
So the stairs I took to get here you can say were more than a little Rocky
I said my drive is in Infinity so even if you were a crossing guard you couldn’t stop me
I said I ain’t with that faggot shit dick sucker so there’s no way you could ever top me
And you never caught a body
So the only way we could say we can say we saw F.L.O. catch a body
Is we watching a documentary on the Japanese tsunami

[Round 2: F.L.O.]
Your mom name “Nut Face”, nickname “Fuck Face”
That bitch can cargo peanut butter for fuck sake
See sucks so much dick in one state
That she had to make a neck brace out of pillow cushions and duct tape
Look at your outfit nigga you look dumb
It look like you cardboard box jacked a bum
This idiot ain’t and ever hearing it
Let me get real specific and clear with the shit
Look, dude…yo’ name- you look like you just divorced J.Lo wearing that shirt
Like Antonio Banderas is the only nigga giving you work
I’ma go berserk and you gon’ get your feelings hurt
This is how it’s gon’ go down nigga you ’bout to get murked
See look, Uno Lavoz sucks dick and eat tacos at the nastiest cum dumpster Tijuana brothel
You a fake John Leguizamo from The Bronx, Benny Blanco
Who always smells like ranchero and cilantro
You’ll get stepped on little man see my weapon never jam
I’ll give 17 Again like Zac Efron with a tan
Nah um, Beanie Sigel, State Property whole crew
Nigga even E.V.E. got more balls than you
Nigga, yeah I say E.V.E. is tougher
Cause you a Ruff Ryder cause you ride rubbers rougher
I just made all that up right there I’m a dope muhfucka

[Round 2: Uno Lavoz]
I said I’m ’bout to rip this dude up, sorta like paper mache
He keeps coming with racist jokes cause of the shit I told him backstage
He was like, “Yo I just got my bachelors degree”
I was like, “Yo that ain’t nothing. Last time I checked your ancestors had their masters since the slavery days.”
I said for real, looking at you, bro you just gave me like the wildest thought
I mean like, you’re so black your skin tone is Unpaid Child Support
I said I’m the leader of the up and comers so I oblige you to try to follow me
He keeps thinking he’s an animal in the jungle well that’s something that I gotta see
For you thinking that you big I put you underground like a wallaby
No, I said for you thinking that you Big I put you underground where Wallace be
I said I did my research on you homie
I saw your Facebook, using a background behind little bitches giving them that little Big Bird pose
And I heard your girlfriend likes Sponge Bob
So I painted my dick blue and I told her to come over to my house to suck my Squidward’s nose
I said this is lyrical amputation that means you don’t stand a chance
I know your real name but I’ll flip it later cause right now I don’t have to Lance
I start squeezing that trigger to you motherfucking Hammer Dance
Cause I ain’t gonna stop till Flo like an avalanche
I said the first round was something light
But this is where the torture begins
I’ma tell you right now, me and your girl we’re more than friends
Your grandma’s dead, I’ll dig up her casket
A stick of dynamite, I’ma force it in
Then boom, the explosion will take that bitch out the box like she was born again
I said but you can’t out perform, you’re boring kid
All your [?] more than a little, see I score more towards the middle
But endorphins that morph in the middle
I ain’t joking I’m toking that pistol that pops out more than a little
So if it a thang I let that finger bang more than a lonely horny widow
I said for real, I’ma be rapping this way til the day I retire
And you getting this ass whooping courtesy of KOTD not putting my fucking name on the flier

[Round 3: F.L.O.]
Shut the fuck up, don’t say nothing
You jive turkey, chicken shit, duck face turducken
You are not the truth
If he had a razor blade and Timberlands on nigga you’d be Puss N Boots
He not blasting ’em, please stop asking him
He a bitch with the fashion sense of Rob Kardashian
Look at your outfit
Looking like an ostrich with no neck that’s my word
I’ll fling this nigga in a sling; Angry Bird
Any nigga that let you be they leader never grip heaters
And they always get robbed for they jewelry and sneakers
Now if you went to jail your name would be Alejandro Jalapeno Popper Tinkerbell
I sip Patron you sip ginger ale and Zinfandel
You pick up other niggas drawers, and inhale
I will face fuck your mothers head like I was fucking Jennifer Lopez
And R. Kelly piss on her forehead and do it all in yo’ bed
Your mother did voodoo with live chickens and turkey since she was in her mid 30’s
But it didn’t work cause you was still born with herpies
You really like getting your knees dirty
Rednecks be looking down at you talking ’bout, “You sho’ is purty”
And your pops is a depressed queer fuck with an overbite and a beer gut
There’s only two things he can actually do to cheer up
He covers you from here up in Log Cabin syrup
And shoots his toothpaste in your face until your acne bumps clear up
Nigga cheer up

[Round 3: Uno Lavoz]
I said a lot of battle vets don’t like me
Well I don’t give a fuck about y’all anyway cause this is my time
I said a lot of people keep talking shit about me, well fuck it nigga this is my grind
So fuck all y’all sandwich eating, black glasses wearing faggots that keep talking behind my back
Because no matter what y’all say y’all never gonna take away my shine
Because think about it
I’m battling in the world’s biggest event and y’all pay $70 just to come watch me from the sideline
Even the up and comers don’t like me, now that shit is mad pitiful
They like, “How the fuck Uno get on this card when his style ain’t that lyrical?”
No fucking shit dickhead, I do it for the fucking entertainment
I just try to be original
But think about it, if your lyrics ain’t make it on this stage and mine did
Then fuck whatever you say cause maybe you should go get a fucking gimmick too
Now F.L.O., what does that mean? That you Fucking Love Oreos?
I said just go bro, you’re devoured, you a bitch and you swim with an ocean of cowards
I’m here for your soul and the power
I’m a shark and you swimming in an ocean of flower
Just go, go hit the showers
You’re so plain/plane you should’ve blown with the towers
So if F.L.O. gets the W I have you in the ER
Niggas gon’ have to start bringing over some flowers
I said I’ma win nigga, you gon’ lose
Guess what, who is who?
I’m a hungry lion in this jungle and what you is, food
Cock back, use the tool
Can’t distinguish who is who
I’m disrespectful I’ll shoot your mom in her face and skull fuck the bullet wound
Like I said before, I’m like “I don’t give a fuck”
They like, “Uno’s getting hype”
That’s right you can’t control his ass
They ain’t put my fucking name on the flier that’s why I’m getting all sorts of mad
But fuck around I get in front of your face
And like your neck I’m supposed to grab
And since I’m Puerto Rican, fuck a gun, I’m supposed to slab
Now you can go with your vets
I don’t give a fuck you can go and chat
Cause we’ll stomp you the fuck out, til we leave here with a swollen [?]
Cause when there’s beef, me and my animals we be on top of F.L.O. like the arc that Noah had
And we won’t stop til we split him apart like Moses’ staff

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