Loe Pesci vs. Bender [Lyrics]

[Round 1: Loe Pesci]
Let’s be honest now, you been doing this for how long Bender? And this still my year
You lost all that weight, but you ain’t OD yet, let’s be honest, you gon’ get high here
I ain’t need to bring them nines here
Them drugs you like was on deck when them train tickets was paid for and we took rideshares
You told Syd, like a pair of Speedos, you would ride up on him
That’s a fine line you crossing, I will joyride a Datsun treat that pigsty apartment like my private parking I will leave this ride up on him
You’d ride up on me like your thong, but your pussy might crease
So I put a hole in him, like a woman’s bike seat
Oh you a Aztec sun god? You talking shit you never done
I got offshore weapon drums, blades that them legends swung
Follow his path from the palm of my hand dripping sweat and blood
So you could tell it ain’t a game, when you see this player’s temple run
It’s heir St-Pierre, the Quebecer with kicks
Roundhouse Jordan 6 infrared to his wig
And if all that fails, punches connect with his chin
‘Cause I’m GSP, with GPS on his fists
Now you’re from Ottawa, a small city where everybody knows each other
Half your friends have banged your exes, and the other day you tried to bone your brother
I been to St. Catharines, I know your mother I know Jordan Cutler
They both said you sucked some guy’s dick, to get in a club
Don’t say I’m the one who had to blow your cover
I quit battles, but there’s loot, so now it’s eff you pay me
Fans can’t tell me shit, I let you hate me
Trekkies could try shoot me I won’t let you faze me
I’m just here to tell my little test-tube baby, don’t get too crazy
It ain’t a big deal to lose to a legend you’re best friends with
I think you know where I’m going with this one, something something, you losing to Sketch Menace
The city know I been back
Since he ain’t been champ, the city don’t want Ben’ back
You gon’ need more than just a pity vote from Illmac
Everything you spit, calculated
By an algorithm I created
This is a crash test and I still control the impact
I let you shine Silver Surfer, now you hate your master
Just remember like Nas and Galactus, I gave you power
And yeah, when your student’s this good, it’s hard to play teacher
But thanks to modern-day research, we’ll get Canibus to analyze our pasts, he can carbon-date either
He ain’t even copped me no ‘Happy Father’s Day’ t-shirt
So I’m here to take my son out, like Marvin Gay Sr

[Round 1: Bender]
Now who’s this, dope emcee, that flows deadly
But won’t bet me, ’cause he chokes heavy
Throat trembling, won’t hold steady
Got no memory, oh, that’s Raj Kumar
‘Sup little buddy? Wanna see who’s ’bout it ’bout it?
The fans needed to see it so I say we keep it a thousand
First off we need to address this, I know there’s no getting around it
If I told you once I told you a million times, that hooker was dead when I found it
Now name another, clash that’s been as, highly anticipated
Type of classic match we might reach a million plays with
If you feel you’re on top, egos might need to get deflated
And that’s a long drop when you get knocked off quicker than every rhyme scheme I innovated
Like let me guess, you brought some sorta sorry player to flip
Well Lord be praised I’m sure it’s great, of course you’ll make it legit
But I’m here to take your ass to school this year the course got changed up a bit
And I’ma have you slashed in two, black and blue ‘fore halfway through the orientation begins
I sneak in, Raj Kumar’s dad’s apartment while he at the bar
I slide a, wad of C4 into the lava lamp then dart
You walk in, one flick of the switch turn that crib to Kandahar
See I don’t need no Mastercard just to set up a plastic charge
His first language: French, he a international star
He had a battle in Quebec, with a Paris cat named Blackapar
But you ain’t gotta be bilingual just to know which one of ’em won
Call you a incest survivor Pesc’, ’cause you got licked with your mother tongue
Good Lord I need some better competitors
Dunny my blood pumping at a negative temperature
He tripping on some fentanyl and mescaline enemas if he said he got Berettas or he letting the metal burst
Get real Pesc’, weren’t you a sexual predator, sent your weapon to Jennifer up on MSN Messenger
Keeps his face hidden like a Mexican wrestler so it’s not, weapons he’s referencing when he says he’s never been registered
Bitch your four-inch dick’s been dormant since before the stomach just absorbed it in a sick distorted twisted form of snatch that shit is horrid
How’d you get enormous, at this rate, by the time your kids get orphaned
You’ll have a layer so fat, you won’t detect the rigor mortis
First round I’m fuckin’ murdering Pesc’
That’s one-zip and I ain’t even gettin’ personal yet

[Round 2: Loe Pesci]
Now I won’t talk about all that nasty shit that happened in London
Since we boys, I’ll just say that you and Pat are disgusting
See Os’, he’s a boss, and Pat’s the biggest homo
So who’s got a better group, and who does better solo?
Who does better shows and who does better promo?
Who’s out in the streets and even got Buddhists yelling ‘yolo’
Bender, they already cured AIDS, they just want loot for the remedy
I could shut you down from a higher level like pharmaceutical companies or any project involving renewable energy
Shit I programmed the dude, I ain’t using telepathy
Close my eyes, zooming trajectories, and shoot him incessantly
‘Cause I brought you in the fam, yeah I put you down
I dissed you a whole lot, yeah I put you down
I’m talking to this calicoe, like “I’ll never put you down”
You had some good fights, but old dog it’s time to put you down
I gave my robot A.I. and wisdom, Frankenstein killed his creator, he wasn’t trying to listen
But Bender’s a beer-drinking robot, it ain’t a multi he ain’t trying to spit it
A machine turning on his creator and trying to kill him. nine times out of 10, that shit only works in works of science fiction
I am legend, and your boy Pat, his name is Patience, ’cause his time is precious
But he sits in your closet, waiting to give you neck, like your tie collection
He even mimics my chokes, and all those were planned
You wonder why I got all his bars, jokes, and jabs in this long folded pad?
I ain’t need no grocer bitch to bag him up and start loading cans
Aim that laser, only thing you’ll hear is a barcode get scanned
This to me is cutting the grass, I think we all know the plan
You build a Skynet it try destroy you like the Lawnmower Man
But Jeff Goldblum wasn’t this fly when he travelled through time dude
You bugging like Geena Davis’s baby thinking you fly too
Shit I’ll battle you really low, I’ll battle you really loud
I’ll battle you in the ring, I’ll battle you in the crowd
I could break him down in a chess game, break him down in a card game
I take him out like a hitman, I take him out like a ballgame
I said I take him out I’m a hitman I take him out at the ballgame
I said I take him out I’m a Hitman, Holla, it only take a round and it’s ballgame
You and Pat, are such big fans of El-P from Company Flow
That if you met him, you’d probably volunteer to suck on his toes
And the thing you did to move up that stunted your growth
Is that you tried to step on me like a bundle of dope
But I’m the one who got hundreds of shows, shit I even got you battles and you struggled with both
I introduced you to a dozen of hoes, some of ’em dope
But you only fuck the ugly ones though
But see the one thing is, this is nothing to Loe. ’cause you just one of my clones
Next round, why don’t you tell me something that you’ve done on your own

[Round 2: Bender]
He couldn’t get a gig in his hometown, but since Pesc’ knows me
I set him up to rock with Boot Camp and M.O.P
Ghostface, Raekwon, too much stuff to mention
You forget all that somehow? Just asked a stupid fucking question
So you don’t even know what’s good for you
Name a rap show where you got paid that I didn’t book for you
When our careers started, Kush was neck and neck with Flight Distance
Since then you’ve got a little behind, like white bitches
You need to get that thinking cap to function
Lately even your tracks all stink, you rap ’bout nothin’
Ya’ Hindu fam can’t touch us
Osa’s a lawyer that moved to Montreal, that makes two of you that can’t do the English language justice
This between you and I though, I won’t front like the crews are rivals
Just match me bar for bar and I bet you the views go viral
Y’all saw me lose the title, we all saw you lose to Syco
With all that shit you talked how the fuck aren’t you suicidal
See I could forgive all the slip-ups, if this skidmark was new here
But you supposed to be a vet so how you, cruising for a deal w hen you known for dropping the ball more than Dick Clark on New Year’s
Bringing your lawyer won’t help the fact that you’re losing your appeal
See I been, going insane tryna show restraint with a poker face for you homes
You ain’t wrote a page, since the golden age, in the olden days he was dope
Since opponents make him just choke on stage we all grown impatient with Loe’s
He went from, local favorite to, mostly hated to, overrated to joke
Shit makes me facepalm, no Santa Cruz Skateboard design
Can’t you show a little grace when you face your decline
I’m still brainstorming enough to make a, rain forest thrive
From undergrowth to canopy, acorns to vines
When Vendetta came I had my game organized
I stepped on the plane and took aim for the sky
You was in your mom’s purse, scrounging up $8.45
Tryna pay for a dime like a mail-order bride
That’s good though, ’cause T-Rex woulda merc’ed you no hesitation
Like, if I take this French guy’s head off, is that separation?
See how the fuck you’d think you was even fit to go a round or two
When God removing a rib couldn’t take that bitch outta you

[Round 3: Loe Pesci]
Little man, you did the damn thing
Not here, at that pie-eating contest, but you still finished last place
See I could gut him right now, even with a lil’-ass blade
You gon’ be seeing what he been eating like his Instagram page
You used to look, like a mix, of a backpacker, and Fat Bastard
Your workout regimen must be off the wall like a parkour race
I swear you lost more weight, than an offshore raid
Most people agree, when he was fat he looked really cooler
Image was based off Bam Bam Bigelow, the drugs we gave him shoulda killed him sooner
How did you have better breath control when you were fat, you’re a pill abuser
I guess reality shows that dropping weight made him the biggest loser
I ain’t even wanna hold that dirty chain in my hand
With all due respect, everyone already say I’m the man
When they refer to you, they just say you my man
If you got the chain, it’s ’cause I’m high in the chain of command
Shit I paved the way to you even becoming the champ
I put you, before me, ’cause I got love for my fam
In one battle, Sketch Menace, you talk about going to London, Japan
But since then, who brought you to London and France?
Remember why people know your name, your music, you got tens and hundreds of fans
And don’t make me regret that I ever stuck out my hand
Retrace your path and the championship it leads to
Just follow the dripped blood and the bodies and it’s see-through
We never put you up, against somebody, that could beat you
Yeah, you said some mean shit, and I feel duly disrespected
But I don’t see nothing more than a loser getting reckless, using booze to heal depression
But you’re used to stumbling through bars, and ruining a friendship
So if I helped you then, I probably thought the shit would help me later
It wasn’t no secret to anybody, I lent you favors
Scott Free battle, I treated the decision like Watergate investigators and made ’em shred the papers
Shit, you skipped more than a few steps, got you the keys to the elevator, but ya’ life-game on a escalator
So who really orchestrates your fate? You’re welcome player
And I don’t even need to waste test your savior, met your maker, Brendan Fraser and Jenna Haze, the Texas Rangers
Celtics-Lakers, Nets and Pacers, Jets and Raiders, jealous neighbors, friendly haters, get the fuck outta here

[Round 3: Bender & Loe Pesci]
You said you rigged the judges for Scott Free, that’s fine
The two of them that actually spoke English said that I had it by a landslide
Pesc’ don’t act like you the better man
We both been getting ass from those same old Bender fans
Now how you tryna hold a candle to the best
Crossing Mike, jaws of life, get you mangled in the flesh
You make songs ’bout how you ball, let’s get reality in check
‘Cause you been lying on those tracks like a damsel in distress
You’ve lived in a slum of a bachelor pad with your pops since before grade school
If I showed a photo to Social Services they’d probably threaten to take you
Your walls are lined with posters of Camoflauge and Adam Bomb
That you would, high five on your way to work if you ever had a job
In Oakland all your punches were on Bay Area rappers
London, strictly soccer jokes just to muster up some laughter
You just WikiSearch the city you’re in when you battle out of town
But got the nerve to clown on rappers you say just pander to the crowd
Pesci get your shine boxed for these high top sneakers
Keep that eye cocked and wind up with Cyclops features
I brought expensive heat like a, firearms dealer
Now the pressure’s on you feeling like a python squeezed ya’
Any match that’s tout ed this guy got ethered
His mind’s gone his spine’s lost, he can’t rely on neither
Ever since this dummy went from getting high off reefer
To mixing ox with ‘gnac without a livestock breeder
And he’ll tell you he’s some kind of mastermind that made a sacrifice for me, hardly
You ain’t fed me shit i came to bite the hand that tried to starve me
And true I never woulda stepped in this league if your bitch ass never begged me
So if it helps you sleep at night, we can tell the fans you made me
Like, I was sewn together, by the hands of my father
Sprang to life with a lightning strike and a tank of ice water
But, I was never tranquilized proper
Now the doctor’s getting strangled by the angry side of his Frankenstein monster
You cannot be serious Pesc’, after all the years we’ve been friends
You waddled here from Quebec just to volunteer for your death
You thought your lyrics were fresh but, got you zero respect
Last five battles been your most soft appearances yet
Dog once you had it, now it’s got you clearly depressed
You see oncoming traffic and wanna veer to the left
Ever since I stopped feeding you lines you been bottom tier at your best
Now the chickens come home to roost and the hawk is here to collect
Years of abuse got your brain all shriveled
Punchlines got you feeling like a H-bomb hit you
Have you crawling along the ground with your, legs all crippled
Till I choke you the fuck out
Yo, I-I choke you the fuck out
Have you crawling along the ground, with your legs all crippled
Then I choke you the fuck out, without a baseball signal

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