100 Bulletz vs. Shuffle-T [Lyrics]

[Round 1: 100 Bulletz]

Eurgh hit me up like, “What you think about Shuffle T?”
{Snaps fingers}
I said, “I saw the 2 on 2 battles. I’ma need some help. Which one is he?
I mean, the balding guy who lost to Tricky? That’s a match you condone?
I bodied JC and had a classic with Jones
Oh, oh the girly one with the long hair. You think he actually dope?
I heard he beat Kid Twist but what’s this Attack of The Clones?”
I mean you took two years to say my name and cut out the subliminals
Hit my inbox like, “Hi Bulletz, I highly doubt you’re criminal
Come to Don’t Flop, rhyme prepared, thousands of syllables
Cause I need you, what’s a parody without the original?”
I mean when I had a classic with Bamalam, you watched from the stands
Three months later, parodied my style and that’s what got you your fans
You call ’em Bad Bars but I still taught you and it’s all in my plan
Pan’s Labyrinth I got these pupils in the palm of my hand
You’ll bring up schemes from 2013, like they ain’t beat The Saurus though
Then tell me I ain’t black enough cause I don’t let the 40 go
Or fit the negative stereotype, different nerd same story yo
You’ll probably say this ain’t the first time he facing an Oreo
Y’all remember he’s selling out, he’s selling out he’s corny
These corny lil’ white boys always lying pretending like, “When Bulletz says the N-word even I get offended.”
Nigga, no you don’t
And then jokes won’t stop the manslaughter
I’ve been saying “nigga” my whole life…like your grandfather
So just shut your mouth and stand awkward, you done made a mistake
This ’bout to be a Unanymous decision…like baking a cake
He facing a great, you royalty?
Well place your crown on my shoes or I’ma get your thoughts on The Wall like a Pink Floyd album review
These words carve and defile him, you’ll see the scars when he’s smiling
When I put this Joker behind bars like Arkham Asylum
He ain’t close to my hardest assignment, I still gotta kill him
Eurgh left this comic hanging like Robin Williams
You’ll catch a case of Insomnia if you talk while I rap Adam
Don’t say Jack, one Hook and the doc will have to Patch Adam
You’ll get cold cocked silly, can’t stop, won’t stop, eh na; Diddy
First round, lights/Lyt’s out, like Don’t Flop Philly
Ain’t no turning back, just another dead comedian; Bernie Mac
Since this nerd is gassed I’m giving son the business like a Persian dad
I can’t bare clowns lying three rounds, I’ll catch a murder rap
Wait; bears, clowns, lying, three rounds; that’s a circus act
If I hear Ad(d)am’s Family I’ma start snapping
The front door where I’m Lurching at
How I describe my rounds? China Town
Even if I ain’t cooking, dawg I’m still serving cats
Let’s recap, round 1: 100 Bulletz vers’ a subpar threat
Round 1: I still ain’t schemed or used a gun bar yet
Let’s go


[Round 1: Shuffle T]
Did you just say you were gonna like turn up and kill my family?
I ain’t finna lie, you’re much more likely to stand and rap at me
Bulletz eh?
Good name, that’s my review
How many Bulletz again? 100? That’s quite a few
100 Bulletz…twat
The 90’s paged, some kid with a backwards cap wants his rap name back right away
When you bring it up he gets defensive like, “It’s from a comic book by the way.”
Alright okay, here’s me thinking it was kind of gay, my mistake
First things first, stop with all the old hat wordplay
This is a battle it’s not Throwback Thursday
You need to just tone down the quantity of your wordplay
It’s weird and it’s sad
33 and obsessed with puns, it’s so clear you’re a dad
I like wordplay mate, I think it’s the shit
I also like mayonnaise, the difference is this
I like some on the side in which I can dip
Not an entire plate of the stuff with a singular chip saturated in the middle of it
AKA your signature dish
I mean like, how are you so obsessed with Pokemon but can’t evolve past the initial first stage?
Always trying to force in film titles and try to fit the wordplay
“I’ll leave you legless I ain’t talking ’bout the Little Mermaid”
I’m just there like, “I didn’t think you were mate.”
The wordplay you always have is quite bad
Like, “Me and money go together but I ain’t the queen” and I’m like, “…man
I know you’re not the queen, you’re black and quite fat
Nobody here needed you to clarify that.”
And why you “pun junkies” always proud of going over people’s heads?
“Look at me I missed my target market, won’t they be impressed?”
If a comedian tells a joke and the crowd don’t completely get it he won’t think, “I’m so clever.”
He’ll take that fucking joke and reassess
We actually had this battle planned for last year
And suddenly not a sound
Been so long he’s even kind of lost weight now
I’m not pissed off, eventually he got chased down
Saying, “Bulletz dodging Neo” is the wrong way ’round
To be honest the reason this battle initially got delayed is actually pretty sad
He had some family shit to sort and to that I can tip my hat
I hope you don’t mind me saying why you cancelled and switched the plans
But you have to take an important trip…to his family to Disneyland
That’s not a weird angle I’m making up that is a sound fact
Picture Bulletz with his crew that are giving out daps
Waiting for the parade as the little crowd claps
Chilling out in fucking matching Micky Mouse hats
He went to grab a drink at Aladdin’s bar
He met Jasmine’s father and Jafar
The bouncer’s were in matching garb dressed as the palace guards from Agrabah
He sat there on the magic carpet eating caviar with QP and with Heartless, pointing out where the constellations and the planet’s are
Like, “Saturn, Mars…that’s a star.”
I’m sick of seeing you acting hard with your overboard ego
Talking ’bout shooting guns and fucking blowing torpedo’s
Act like you’re ’bout that life but you only talk street though
The only time you stay on your grind in the streets is with the Tony Hawk’s cheat code
You know what it is, I’m having Bulletz done
You’re not ammo, you’re more like Will Farrell’s sanded wooden gun
If you had some angles with your wordplay then perhaps you could’ve won
But til you sort that out you’re just another dad that’s good at puns

[Round 2: 100 Bulletz]
Aight, so he broke down my style from a couple years ago
That was very good
Now, finding the real Adam Woolard, is like solving a puzzle
In his head, a bunch of voices all talk in a huddle
Fifteen different personalities locked in a bubble
Whoever you actually you are, clearly got lost in the Shuffle
The first issue, your persona
You stole a page from a comic
You’re basically Ricky Gervais with shitty wordplay, it’s blatently obvious
The similarities go way beyond paying him homage
You naturally funny yet…it’s just another day at The Office
Then there’s Kid Twist, you slant your wrists and even stand like him
Got that stupid dyke face and same feminine hands like him
I can see your camel toe, you were them skinny tight ass pants like him
Wait, Shuffle? Twist? You even named yourself after a dance like him
And how come Don’t Flop don’t ever throw a top Brit’ at him?
Cause Shotty, Tony and Cee Major would backhand pimp slap him
Oshea, Lunar, Soul, Cruger and Eurgh would make you quit Adam
You need Marlo, I ain’t Einstein but you bomb whenever you split Adam/atom
I’ma say this, you must like getting beat like a masochist
I heard Marlo carrying T like Jesus of Nazareth
When y’all lived together, he write rhymes for you everyday
Even helped writing your resume
The blueprint he Drew Carry(ed) y’all through the climb now y’all getting fame I’m like
“They’re funny in sketch comedy but Who’s Line Is It anyway?”
I mean, you eat off another person’s plate and regurgitate, you have bulimia
And why you screaming on Bad Bars 2 like I have a beef with ya?
I don’t even notice you, you’re a tumor but the staff believe in ya
Now I’m battling a cancer cause Bad Blood sells/cells? That’s leukemia
I mean let’s get it straight, Marlo write the stuff, Don’t Flop hype him up
Had AIDS his whole career, tell this Queen Another One Bites The Dust
I’m Cronus, Harp on me
You can’t overthrow a Titan, Zeus with a bolt of lightening
A golden pen, the soul of Midas, flow’s Poseidon, I hold the trident
So divine but no surprises
Since the Garden Of Eden, Adam turned his back on God and was known for biting
I mean, that’s why they amp you T (amputee)
Without crutches you couldn’t stand by yourself
Your name’s Shuffle cause you don’t like the hand you was dealt
You can’t intimidate who you imitate
I might slow it down and repeat but you more than a little Conceited
I’m thinking, “How could it be?”
You on your high horse, judging, like the mounted police
I mean you’re the biggest antic since Daylyt stripped down to his briefs
You battled a can, a stick, cookies, shoes
At a wedding, compliment bars, Bad Bars, Anton Murphy
All this and you frown upon me?
If Eur’ told you suck his dick you’d drop down to your knees
You’re a court jester, his little lap dog, I scoured the scene
For the most thirsty attention whore at Don’t Flop and I got it down to a T
Now let’s recap
100 Bulletz vers’ a sub-par threat
Round 2 I still ain’t scheme or used a gun bar yet
Keep being irrelevant, let’s go

[Round 2: Shuffle T]
I heard what happened at the URL battle, it was a K.O
They didn’t release the footage and they kept it laid low
But I’ma make it so they won’t say “no”
Takes notes, I’m gonna be your URL May coach
First rule: Making URL crowd’s react is as simple as pie
First bar doesn’t matter, second distracts ’em. shit on the side
Slow down in the third bar so they catch the syllables right
Then speed up and get loud with a finishing line!
Every time you think you said a nice line, give yourself a high five
Talk about how big your weapon is and how your gun is prone to clap
Then completely ignore the homo-erotic undertones in that
Never admit you lost despite the extremely blatant facts
If your opponent says that they won, they need to take it back
If the fans disagree they don’t have a decent taste in rap
Call the battle “a classic” double your fee then see who pays you that
I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you some sample bars that you can use [?]
For free, [?]
“Yo I come armed with that blue blacka steel
I dig deep for my work that’s a pneumatic drill
I come to your daughter prom with two Happy Meals
And spike the fucking punch; that’s a Hugh Jackman film!”
Alright, alright, here’s like a Cortez style one you can use if you want
“Yo you must be speaking in another language, I don’t understand it
I may be fucking Spanish but you touch my doe, I’ll make you fucking vanish
You put your hand in my bread you gets a knuckle sandwich.”
Actually you already kinda do most of that URL style battle shit
I guess the reason they didn’t invite you back is because you’re bad at it
Or maybe it’s cause all your fucking schemes
What you need to do is engage in some subtly
Like me, Shuffle T
I’m so subtle B I put that subtle “b” in the word “subtly”
What good is a bout everyone under the sun can see
To a subtle creep in submarine coming deep from underneath?
Sunken fleet you fucking geek
{slight choke}
My point is this…chill the fuck out
If you just have fun it will help
And then all those insecurities that you have about yourself will just comfortably melt
Battling is about celebrating your characters cause you’re stuck with yourself
They’re here to see you be you, not you trying to be somebody else

[Round 3: 100 Bulletz]
Y’all comparing earthquakes to aftershocks
You’ve got a grave future, that’s the plot
Trying to diss me? Have a shot
I’m all ears; Captain Spock
I said “Live long and prosper” just give me my space, man; astronauts
No messing around, to even invest in this clown, is a Laugh N Stock
Don’t ask if I pack the Glock, I’ll slap the snot outta Asher Roth
I told you Yesterday, We Can Work It Out, Let It Be; classic rock
But you kept going on you could’ve been an afterthought
But you stay harassing niggas; traffic cop
This guy diss me, think Rice Krispies, your neck with snap, crackle, pop
You want a war with Bulletz? You need street sweepers
Navy SEAL team leaders, or you in (U.N.) over your head like United Nation’s peace keepers
They put a Loonie in the ring like Flip Top league
Y’all I.C.P., biggest clowns in the hip hop scene
How many styles you gotta steal to get a win off me?
Hulk Hogan, in the ring you a rip off T/tee
Show some dignity
The concept for your Compliment Battle you owe to Tricky P
You plagiarize Chris Morris and The Saurus whole delivery
You’re a Mark Grist/Kid Twist clone, a Mini-Me
Your name should be “Kid Grist”
Your image was stole deliberately
The only thing you’ve shown consistently is being prone to mimicry
You’re a poser, a carbon copy, a phony, gimmicky
You won’t know a real MC if met Hova physically
And the ghost of Biggie with most of Dilla’s beats
This whole critic act is a big sarcastic cynic’s mask to trick the masses, it’s systematic
A Decoy, not the Aussie that finds kid’s attractive
I mean, you both afflicted with twisted habits
But yours is biting, you got a dinner jacket
Living lavish, all you can eat and you nibble at it until you finish snacking
Or it’s cinematic, big theatrics
If rapping’s a stiche, then stick to acting
The simple fact is, you’re a timid, brittle, skinny average
Mimic, jacking, acrylic, plastic, no rhythm having, image snatching, gimmick rapping, British faggot
[100 Bulletz starts snapping his fingers; pretending to choke]
Little ho can’t see me, real talk, rapping is easy
Hmmm (Hmmm)
Y’all watching the video? Stop, bring it back for a repeat
Hmmm (Hmmm)
You know I’m the man, the ho is a fan you happy to meet me
Hmmm (Hmmm)
I play with a sheet coat, you thought you could actually beat me?
Hmmm (Hmmm)
You ain’t got no rhythm, you ain’t got no tracks and you making a mockery
Hmmm (Hmmm)
I came here to kill him I’m able to rap, money fake as Monopoly
Hmmm (Hmmm)
Said my name on the bill and the fatal attacking this ain’t a democracy
Hmmm (Hmmm)
They made me a vill’ when my brain don’t react and there ain’t no one stopping me
At the end of the day everything you said didn’t apply to me
You tell the crowd about the schemes and my gun bars, don’t lie to me
You should’ve worn a Teflon Jason mask and bullet proof hoodie too
Cause they was right, guns don’t kill people, Bulletz do

[Round 3: Shuffle T]
He’s like, “None of that stuff applies to me” to try to make a victory
Just cause you change your style like three weeks ago doesn’t erase the history
I finally did it, a battle without Marlo
I don’t always need him getting help with them
But I might bring Bamalam out to try to make you shit yourself again
Do you remember, “Why’d you think I’m joking sick?”
No I think your joke is shit
You might think Marlo’s not here to help me but I would protest
I would say he’s not here to defend you during the writing process
But we did talk before
We agreed that sometimes you’re so close to being sick but you just keep falling past
Cause you stretch your bars and wordplay to meet your demands
You stretch more than those guys that do the complete Tour De France
Even his favorite song is by S Club 7 Reach for the bars
See I’m coming with the equivalent of that enigmatic prose
That Edgar Allen Poe and Terry Pratchett wrote in my Inspector Gadget coat
You’re a 33 year old battler who never managed growth
You should be locked away inside a geriatric’s home
You had a try but now it’s time to let the battle go
And stick to rapping once a year in a pension’s talent show
Mate you’re 33
You’re 33

[100 Bulletz]
And a half

[Shuffle T]
And a half
You’re 33, been battling 18 months longer than and you’re still in purgatory
Five extra battles, a decade older and you have more urgency
How the fuck are you still considered worse than me?
Isn’t that embarrassing?
Cause even in a battle it’s awkward to say
I mean it’s your life and everything but I’d be walking away
You’re a decade older than everyone performing today
And they’re all better than you, mate just call it a day
And I bet if you look it now, you’ll see that the silent nodding’s begun
You know when he gets that look in his eyes like, “What have I done?”
Evaluating everything in their life and what it’s become
So the other guy is obviously psychologically kind of already won
If all you want is references geekier shit to provide you with
Then I’m Jin with his flying kick and the king of the Iron Fist
Swinging with spiral hits til I finish the final blitz
Yoshimitsu and Brian mixed after fitting their cyber chips
Into their mind and switched into a violent blitz
Spinning a [?] script with Christy and Tiger’s flip
[?] fighting tips or signature lightening kicks
Mate you’re literally 96!
Go away
I only wanted this battle in the hopes we could persuade you to quit
Cause what you’ve been doing with battling is taking a piss
Over using everyone’s favorite bits til you finally succeeded in making them shit
And it’s just making me sick
Fuck off!
We don’t need you battling and you don’t help it up
100 Bulletz missing the mark like Elmer Fudd
Stop making my hobby look shitty you selfish fuck
And go and ruin somebody else’s fun
And if you don’t want people to bring up your shitty wordplay in a fucking battle then don’t do shitty wordplay or don’t fucking battle

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