Dizaster vs. O’fficial [Lyrics]

[Round 1: Dizaster]
Now before you agreed to this battle you kept on backing out like a nervous little shook whore
Debo had to convince me, “Nah, she knows she’s getting a good look, she’s gonna push more
Trust me Diz’ she’s coming to cook.”
I told him, “Of course she’s coming to cook, that’s all these bitches are good for.”
That and going unnoticed by the men they spend five hours a day in front of the mirror trying to look good for
Cause you’re a bunch of retarded wanna be Instagram models
Who dropped out of college so you’re taught to rely on your looks more
Your knowledge consists of pockets, wallets and dollars that’s all you chicken heads look for
Debo thinks the problem with these bitches gotta start gettin booked more
I think the problem is these bitches gotta start reading books more
You hate it when we call you “bitches” don’t you, you bitches?
You’d rather a man to treat you nicely and put a price tag on your pussy and spoil you bitches
Y’all some gold diggers, you don’t even appreciate what we doing for you
For example, I’m giving you exposure
After me, everyone around the globe is gonna of you bitches
Who said chivalry was dead? I’m out here opening up the door for these bitches
Look, I’m trying to be fair, but you tell me a woman ’bout to have full military power, I kinda get scared
She starts PMSing, nukes start flying through air
Yo, you think under a woman’s leadership in a fucking war that we have time to prepare?
A bitch?!
A bitch needs an hour and forty five minutes just to decide what to wear
I’m about to body this slut
Most black girls get it from they mama, you know, they gotta a lotta junk all in their trunk
But when she was born she came out backwards, God put it all in the front
Looking like a fucking chocolate fudge, marshmallow puff, Jabba The Hutt
Men don’t like to argue, you bitches always start shit with us
You wanna talk all this “equal rights” til someone ends up socking you up
And it’s “How could you hit a girl?”, well you can play that card if you want
This gon’ be like date night with Ray Rice, bitch I do not give a fuck
Listen, you got demolished by Luck
You had one job only and you fucked all of it up
I’m not a misogynist but
I’m confident you’re an incompetent cunt
Thank God you ain’t the broad that’s running in office next month
Cause if you were nominated then we all would be fucked
You got a voice like Hillary and a body like Trump
This bitch looks like that big ass bullet they use to chase after us in Super Mario 1
Yo, this broad is done
I’m sorry hon’
Where you get your body from? Magic Johnson’s son?
You bitches cried for a president til you got what you bitches wanted
Yo, she got into the fucking presidential shit, she rigged the whole election process
The votes got turned into ballots, have millions of voters missing on it
They took the flip and they scripted off of us
This is the fucking living proof that bitches should never be allowed to run on a pole unless they are the ones stripping on it
She wants to finish college
No one wants to hear a dumb bitch get philosophic about stock markets and economics
Or any other geo-political topics
Get a real job bitch
Name one thing Big you’ve accomplished besides looking like Christopher Wallace
And that’s why we treat you bitches like physical objects
Cause you could pick any bitch to run
Whether it’s Hillary Rodham Clinton or not, it makes no difference regardless
Monica Lewinsky is the only bitch that knew how to play her position in office
Yeah, suck my dick
You wanna be a battle MC? Well you better man up
The question is, how much of a man can she be
When Debo is living proof she looks for a father figure in a dad in every single man that she sees
Yeah, yeah you wanna be a battle MC?
How you bitches gonna stand and be free
When your best can’t even stand up to me
Fuck what you bitches stand for this bitch can’t even stand when she pees
Fuck you!

[Round 1: O’fficial]
They said, “O’fficial versus Dizaster”
I couldn’t make it any faster
I knew he was gonna come with a lot of jokes so be prepared for plenty laughter
But I ain’t scared
I went state to state to get this bastard
I’m from New Orleans, I’ve already been face to face with a disaster/Dizaster
So this is the bitch nigga that ch’all stay claiming?
Well I’ll catch this nigga on the Lord Day playing
Beat his legs with a bat, leave him in the hallway laying
Y’all will see Disney (Diz’ knee) On Ice if he come in this broad way (Broadway) playing
Fuck D joy, I’ll get D toy and pop til he destroyed
You don’t want to give up the details gon’ get you tramped, see D coy
I put my soldiers in position, they already know it’s deploy
I tell ’em, “move”, “wait” (weight), “around the block” for D boys
I wonder how you fuck Diz’
You be mad as fuck Diz’?
Hitting her with all your aggression
Prolly one sad as fuck Diz’
Do you slap her in the face, call her all kind of “cunt” “whore”?
Then let her put the dildo in your ass until she make your butt sore
What for?
Cause your dad didn’t like you a child and your mom hasn’t Skyped you in awhile
And your boyfriend doesn’t pipe you and smile
And when people look at you they think of ISIS and halal?
You ISIS member who inspired inner Kylie Jenner father’s gender
That’s how he rap, I rap like you’ll get several casts when that metal blasts
I had to blow the cartridge, my Sega bad
This like your battle with PH, the worst Dizaster you ever had
You forever trash, all he gon’ do is be racist and talk about my Heavy Bags
Wanna know what rhymes with “Dizaster”?
“Small dick”
But whenever he pissed his dick and his balls stick
Whenever he fuck a bitch he make her walls itch
Can’t even keep a hand job that’s what I call sick
So I’ma leave this dick bumpy for thinking he can mess with me
So I’ma give Diz-ease and I ain’t talking ’bout an STD
So all that talk gon’ get you beat for trying
See I keep the piece and I violence
He won’t speak a peep when I reach the wire
Silencer on the weapon, that’s my definition of peace/piece and quiet
I see you going around the country doing your thing Dizaster
Enjoying your fame Dizaster?
But you always come with the same bullshit freestyles
I’d be ashamed Dizaster
It’s like a cyclone, typhoon, hurricane
Know why I say the name Dizaster?
Cause no matter what part of the world you hit you’re basically the same disaster
First round: personal, second round: bars
Third round y’all gon’ regret putting this bitch on y’all card

[Round 2: Dizaster]
Now that first round I hit you with a bunch of misogynistic, sluts and bitches
A couple of crude lines
But I know she’s a fucking virgin I know she’s a good girl
I can tell the innocence in baby boo’s eyes
She’s only been with like two guys, both of those dudes died…suicide
Don’ y’all find it mad odd, they put a battle rap god versus a fat broad that looks like Balrog
You know what I think of when I see fat broads?
Hand jobs
You and Black Rob have matching dad bods
You look like every single mom from Jerry Springer
Wife this bitch? I wouldn’t put a ring on her middle finger
Maybe cause she literally looks like a seal…the animal and the singer
And one thing you should always remember, is bitches don’t even get along with bitches
They got problems bonding together
They talk shit, gossip and bicker
Since you like to argue with chicks I’ma let you talk to this temper
You stupid bitch, you should be glad you not born as the opposite gender
Cause if you did the world would’ve gotten an extra Three 6 Mafia member
Look at this fucking retarded bitch
She’s an easy target that’s why I wanted to pick her
I knew it would be a homicide regardless behind the bars that I give her
She never had a chance she Sandra Bland, this bitch was dead before she got in the picture
They say, “Take it easy on her Diz’ you’re gonna kill her.”
Y’all motherfuckers is tripping, take it easy on her how?
Like, just slide the tip in?
You’re the first fat bitch to make Summer Madness history
Congratulations, you want a cookie bitch? That ain’t shit to me
Next time I go to New York it’s going to be a disaster literally
I’ma take a shit on the fucking the Statue of Liberty
And fly back home to Cali with Jaz The Rapper’s virginity
Look at this desperate little fucking bitch
She ain’t even know how a dick feel
Check the purse her bag probably got a toy in it like a kid’s meal
I’ma keep an eye out for this bitch like Kill Bill
Cause I’m the real deal, I’ll windmill a bitch through the windshield
And toss her in the trunk next to the spare tire since she’s used to riding along as the fifth wheel
You gon’ get bodied out here bitch the shit’s real
You better off with a slave owner than getting caught in this field
Whoa I’m giving y’all that sick feel
That, watching Billy Bob Thornton fuck Haley Berry all over again feel
That, I could murder this bitch with my filler only
No punchlines, no hay makers, she’ll get ripped still
I get rid of chick faster than Princess Diana, my setups alone are enough to get a bitch killed
I’m giving her no breaks
Get it? No breaks
Just cause she’s a girl you think I’ma be rapping nicer?
Bitch welcome to the man’s battle cipher
I’ll punch this ratchet then shove a ax inside her
Split her in half, I’ll even stay on the crime scene til the cops arrive and the ambulances find her
Cause when it’s hard times every woman needs a real man to stand beside her
Yeah bitch you smell like cocoa butter moisturizer
You got the bone structure of a Toyota Four Runner or a sports Hummer
You look like Bone Crusher with a vagina
This bitch got shoulders like a 49er, this bitch look like a tow truck driver
You wanna be a man? I’ll treat her like a normal fighter
I’ll knock out the testosterone she got stored inside her
Bitches can get stole on like Winona Ryder
And stop acting tough bitch, you ain’t a gang banger
Only time you press heat to someone’s head when you using a hair straightener
The only thing you’ve ever squeezed is your own big ass body into a waist trainer
You dumb bitch
I know you motherfuckers watching, nah you ain’t stopping me
Shut the fuck up bitch you owe me an apology
Just cause I’m acting like a dick head you ain’t gon’ cut me off
I ain’t gon’ let you Lorena Bobbitt me

[Round 2: O’fficial]
Battle Of The Sexes? I was like, “Lock it in”
As long as the bread is hefty that I’m pocketing
Some told me, “Just do it. Shit. You ain’t gotta win.”
Well I’m ’bout to show y’all how to snap on a nigga and take his oxygen, that cocky then
And I’m get to taking your life, snaking your wife
Peep the strap on, you ain’t facing a dyke
I be quick to get over when I’m making a right
This Arab going camo’ (camel) get the Desert like Arabian Night
You fucking coke head, you should already know it’s dope
After you get the ring, your best man can hold the toast
I’ll hit the spirit in his body, he’ll be a holy ghost
It’s ironic, y’all got me facing the boob, that’s a motor boat
And you battled Cassidy and thought you was the GOAT
I see the people has blind him, you got your ass whooped
Thought you was gon’ get a record deal then your shine dimmed
Now the record labels pay you no mind and you weeping in silence
He figure since he got on cast that the people will sign him
I came to campaign and show you how it’s all gunning
You need to chill with the multi’s player, if your broad coming
She a double jump off
One Call of Duty my dawgs coming
And they gon’ PlayStation in your X-Box til the kids on her walls running
You only nice cause you okay with the rhyming
You be trying to out rap niggas but the whole basis is timing
Diz’ [?] at a sleeper cell, he’s only here cause he was late for the bombing
He hate me though, that’s cool
You lost to Cassidy and he ain’t win a battle since Freeway was on the radio
I know you seen my titties, shit I need the support
I stay banging the hammer and not the one you seeing in court
Now he trying to get away like he need a resort
Leave his head here, send her back home since you need to deport
And speaking of deporting, you better hope Donald Trump don’t become president brother man
Cause he’s gonna deport your ass
But on the other hand I’ma get deported too, at least I can go back to the motherland
He gotta go back to the village where the Army left your mother laying
You can’t even knock Math out with a clean shot
You a queen Ahk’
I could’ve hit Math harder than that with a paper and a sling shot
Bring cops, I still would’ve let that thing rock
I would’ve can’ D (candy) for that sucker punch when I make it Ring Pops
You? You be Wild N Out for the Canon
But you never got the Clips
Your Hitman Conceited we all know he still won’t get the fifth
This shit? Like gratuity you still gon’ get the gon’ get the tips
Just cause he do rant (Durant) on the team he still won’t get the chips

[Round 3: Dizaster]
You hoes ain’t shit that’s why we don’t trust you together
Y’all bitches act like you gon’ go down in history as some type of innovators like you’re so fucking clever
Only thing you bitches are gonna be known for is ruining Ghostbusters forever
They tell me why don’t I invest in bitches
Because business doesn’t mix with pleasure
Now they think they gon’ take our jobs like they can fulfill our positions better
Bitch whatever
Yo, going to the bathroom with each other is the only time you bitches have your shit together
I used to date a bitch like her, she used to tell me
“Diz’, if you gon’ stay with me you better start paying
I’m serious, you better pitch in I ain’t playing
A real man is a good listener.”
And I was like, “My bad. What were you saying?”
She said, “Exactly, that’s what it is with all of you men.”
I’m like, “C’mon don’t make this a big deal. You got my full attention. Run it back and begin.”
She said, “What I was saying was, us women need a raise from the class that we in
And we wanna stop being harassed by these men.”
And I was like….”My bad. I just got distracted again.”
This bitch acting like she’s hard like her lead be busting
Like a Tec and her Smith & Wessun be dumping
Bitch you ain’t finna hit nothing
You gon’ get stretched out and pressed on like every dress you get stuck in
What you really need to do is pay attention to your digestive consumption
Really listen to your gut because it’s telling you something
There’s a reason that you never fit nothing
Cause you’re better built for someone into heavy construction or WWF wrestling or something
Looking like Jennifer Hudson lesbian husband
I don’t wanna put you down like that O’fficial, I’m trying to give you help
I’m trying to tell you the real so you handle yourself
I wanna give you all the nutrition you need so you can build yourself
The quickest way for a fat bitch to lose weight…is to kill yourself
You stupid bitch
Why is it every time you sleep with a guy
They leave with the same feeling inside like a piece of them died
Why is it that you think you still sexy?
I think I know why her self esteem is so high
This bitch is like Monique on board Soul Plane this fat bitch really thinks that she’s fly
I hope this chick here is ready to get her shit aired
I swear on every one of Ciara’s little lip hairs
That I’m barely gonna give her a square inch where she could flinch
Then it’s kick, snare, Rick’s flair/Flare this bitch into mid-air
Then smash her in the face with a WWF chair
Bitches get executed on sight like Saudi Arabian women in swim wear
She’s trying to give me that big stare like she ready to take that shit there
Knowing this Air N B airhead bitch is Blair Witch scared
Yeah, she’s scared to death I’m gonna titty fuck her to death on her tits bare
And leave a thick layer of jizz there
I’ll treat your tits like Mike Tyson, have a cemetery and I’ll bury my kids there
She holding her fucking-got her waist tuck
Holding her frame up with her fucking taped up stomach
Yo, the heaviest bag you’ve ever caught in your life is your own make up luggage
Just looking at a bitches face once you can tell that they make up stuff for the fuck of it
Yo, this bitch makes me want to Bill Cosby slip something in her drink and drug it
If she don’t pass out I’ll punch her in her face and fuck it
Now that I think about it I’m worse than Bill Cosby
Cause if I put a bitch to sleep she ain’t gonna wake up from it
Mad at me cause you can’t keep a guy in your life
Maybe you could if you didn’t rap like such a violent dyke
She mad no one want to supply her the pipe
Running up in every cipher like, “It’s O’fficial, you can get the .45 or the knife
If one of y’all don’t fuck me someone gonna end up dying tonight.”
I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with her
This bitch looks like Rah Digga crossed with Godzilla
Even after a thousand shots of Vodka I would not kiss her
Cause there’s no amount of hard liquor to get me to look past your Rick Ross figure
And the fact that you look like Marv’s sister
Time bitch

[Round 3: O’fficial]
I said I’m ready to beat a nigga
So don’t make me start hooking
I mean I wasn’t surprised how he quick to insult women
Well if you don’t wanna be left red/read it’s only right/write you start booking
And since I belong in the kitchen it’s only right I start cooking
Start crooking
Shit, I say start crooking cause shit I get better with time
Look at my eyes G
I got an extended clip that shit better than Vine
See Diz’, and real niggas would never combine
I wonder if this dick can make this pussy wetter than mine
I had to stop horsing around to come out this stable
Look down syndrome (hit drums) at your kid I hit cradle
Parkinson [?] just for telling this fable
So I have to handicap (hand these caps) since y’all thinking that Diz able (disable)
You the most wanted, so it’s only right that you get head shots
You done fell in (felon) some shit in your own yard, you Craig pops
No, you getting trashed in your own yard you Redd Foxx
I got a buck that’ll get something for all y’all to watch like Redbox
You’ll be watching balls over the net, and it’s not tennis
He want us to be blind here to the fact he ride men (Rodman) like Denis
When I pop, I ain’t coming out the can’ without spinach
Watch how the Rock land on your Earth it’s not Plymouth
Watch how the kid use the toilet (toy let) me go get the potty
Cause he gon’ shit himself whenever I get the shotty
I’m standing in front your goal, watch how I switch to hockey
He light as a feather so I’ma leave him stiff as a board when my two fingers lift a body
And I heard you used to play professional soccer
Shit, I know you used to go hard for the bread
Didn’t shock me, the fact Diz’ like balls on his head
I mean damn
So it’s only right that I came and I beat this pussy with a smile
He’s so excited to battle me cause he ain’t been this close to a pussy in awhile
I got a [?] with these fits, I will never let the pass slide
I just Rock this nigga Vin Diesel style with a Fast 5
Everybody in the crowd know it’s about that time
This nigga career is an underscore, flat line

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