Dizaster vs. Serius Jones [Lyrics]

[Round 1: Dizaster]
Now while everyone is in shock they like, “Yo, I can’t believe that Serius Jones is my opponent.”
Except for Charron, he’s like, “No, this was supposed to be my moment!
Aye Verb where are you? Aye Verb?”
Give it up you cornball, they’d rather book me last minute ten times in a row than let you headline a show
When you say “Smack Killer” you really mean “black killer” and it’s time you fans should know
You’ll get a pass by going to Smack and say shit like, “I’m mad white like snow
Who knew this anglo-saxon ass wipe can flow?
But if you fuck with me than the can’ just might blow.”
You a culture appropriating vulture, act like you know
Everything with you is either black or white, it’s in your rap style it shows
But I guess it’s hard for you not to be so damn white when 100 Bulletz is the only black guy he knows
As far as this idiot…
They say, “Watch what you say to him cause given the past shit can get ugly.”
I was like, “Who? Serius Jones? He loves me
I avenged him, you think I’m afraid he would punch me?”
If anything I’m afraid to get too close
He might, you know, take off his clothes and try to hug me
After the Math shit he was like, “Bring it in Diz!”
And I’m like, “Yo faggot don’t touch me.”
He was like, “Oh yo, that’s what’s up. Yo, I told Hoffa not to fuck with us.”
And I was like, “Yeah, ‘us’.”
He was like, “Yeah, if I was there I would’ve left untouched
Man I’m from the streets Diz’, I would’ve knocked him out with one punch.”
And I was like, “Serius.”
He was like, “What?”
I’m like, “Shut the fuck up.”
He’ll probably front and do faces, but the phone call went something like this
“I love you Diz!”
And I’m like, “Yo, who the fuck is this?”
He’s like, “Yooooo”
And I was like, “I know this is.”
“Yo I’m forever indebted to you because of this
Yo, you know I’m a pimp, right? I’ll even let you fuck my bitch
Shit, I’ll give you a bunch of chicks
We could be selling drugs, no doubt I’ll ship you tons of bricks
You don’t want money, fuck it I’ll even su-“
And I still got more for you
But do you really think I wanna spend the rest of my rounds talking about Hoffa?
…Of course I do
That’s the reason this battle got booked
Don’t feel too down about the Dose shit, it’s not as bad as it looks
What I could’ve done is put out a diss track and had Math on the hook
That’s what I’m saying, I’ll hit you harder than he hit you before
Smack him right in his hairline, United Airlines; I’ll drag a Chin on the floor
Fuck you! This motherfucker trying to throw me off my pace right now
Goddamn it I should…I should punch you in your motherfucking face right now!
Shit is too hard for him to understand
Diz’ coming to bring the Diz-function to Diz-struction
Holy shit fuck, what kind of hiccup did this kid just get himself mixed up in?
I don’t know what you thought this was but I’ll tell you what it wasn’t
I ain’t giving no kids love there’ll be no fist bumping, end of the discussion
When discussing ain’t no that or this cussing the fifth bust in your Diz-cussion
It’s just disgusting, conclusion? You’ll get a concussion
I’m giving a big cut to his dick sucking lips get stuck in my fist [?]
Don’t get this twisted you knew you had this coming
All that tough talk don’t intimidate me I’m like Mr. Hankey, you know I get shit jumping
He talking he gon’ pull the milli and click it
You know that Jiminy Cricket, this kid bugging
This dude fell off the side cause I [?] punched him
I lost the fucking pace where I was at cause he kept throwing me off
Fucking faggot gay MC standing over here with his fucking anal beads
Fucking time

[Round 1: Serius Jones]
Canada, y’all ready for war now?
Shout to this Canadian coin now
Cause I’m ’bout to flip this queen on the other side
So bare with me cause it’s gold in these small rounds
Y’all wanna know how I met Dizaster?
I was leaving a club in L.A. with Mistah Fab
I thought he was tapping an Arab to get a cab and then you turned around and he was like, “Rap for Jones.”
And he was like, “Off the dome, I shatter bones and turn rappers to catacombs.”
And I was like, “Okay, this cat can zone
But when is he raps why is he playing an imaginary saxophone?”
Okay, an Arab that always blows up and raps off the dome
Okay that’s expected and I respected that alone
But as time passes on, you got your battle on
You had some classics holmes, you made your talent known
But you get off track
Always trying to prove you can sing but never had a song
But you can’t cross me off that head cause you waited until after 21 to get your Savage on
So now Dizaster got automatics drawn on his page now
We used to think he was a fruit
Now he only hang on bunches and vines with the Grapes now
I’m like, “Okay, wow.”
This is a true story
He hit me after the sneak like, “Bro, that Hoffa shit was weak
Yeah, we all know you a boss in these streets.”
I tell the truth but kept it brief
I said, “Did I want to make him see/sea shells, sure (shore) but he already got washed on the beach.”
He said, “Nah fuck that. I’ma do it myself. Tonight.”
I said, “Just wait til the end of the battle to get your steel on.”
But I gassed you cause two wrongs don’t make a right
For them two rights you was still (steal) wrong
So when he called me, he was all over the place like an Army brat
“Bro, he didn’t think I’d do it, he dared me to do it
He thought I won’t react, then baow, I socked him and I washed him like a laundry mat
Soon as he dropped we all stomped him flat
I just texted you the Youtube link, check it out, call me back, call me back, call me back!”
See, facts
So, I was like, okay, some people do the right things for the wrong reasons
But not a lot of folks can handle that
So you was just sucking me to get the juice so now I gotta be the straw that broke the camel’s back
I said, I never did shit for attention
What the fuck for? [?] image yeah, I was in Roc’s face but what it’s amounting (a mountain) to make me rush more (Rushmore)
See when I battle I don’t never be sober
Ironic cause you be inhaling Tweet boulders with Lush
But you’ve been ducking Roc(k) long as a Lebanese soldier
Okay, well you better get cool with the Arabs in the area
Cause after this battle Trump probably won’t even let your stupid ass back into America
That’s one down!

[Round 2: Dizaster]
Look, I’m gonna rebuttal that shit about Trump now
What was that? A shot at me because I’m a Republican, what now?
Guess what, stupid fuck I ain’t gonna talk to you about politics that’s something your dumb ass know nothing ’bout
Every time the president tweets something this little pussy open up the window and he jump out
Y’all don’t think I always hear the stupid shit that’s always coming out of Trump’s mouth?
The only reason I voted for him is so he can build a wall and keep Cortez the fuck out!
He’s making me laugh
Any minute he’s gonna buckle and fucking snap
Like start suffering and sudden flash
Like someone told him he’s about to spend the rest of the day stuck in class…studying Math
He shouldn’t be mad at him cause Smack put him in that fucked up predicament
Shit is not nearly as bad as the aftermath did to him
Soon as Math hit his chin, he flew out of his shoes so fast {whistles} his Timberland’s started whistling
He hit him so hard he did a 360 spin went to bed, woke up and started sleep walking back into him
This is him, waffling and wiggling
Standing there looking like he ’bout to get hit with a finishing
What it do brother? I heard you had a cute mother
I hit her up on the phone, told her Tuesday we can do supper
Her dad picked up like, “Yo, how did you get this new number?”
I told him we took her and group hugged her and boob fucked her
Fucking walked around to the backyard and put her in the same dog house that was on Snoop’s cover
I’m a dog when I bite, you’re just a Barker like Blink 182’s drummer
I’m on some ruthless shit, yeah I heard you going to England bro
I’m happy for you
The question is, what are you gonna do when the flow comes through?
Serius Jones, see this is why I think he’s a bitch
Cause uh, let’s talk about happened out there in Cali when you almost didn’t return to the east
Cause your loud fucking mouth kept stirring out beef
Huffing and puffing to the ceiling about all the drugs he be dealing and all the guns that he be peeling
Hella tough talk for someone that woke me up at 1:00 AM cause he literally thought Lush One was gonna kill him
He’s a gangster, he’s squeezing the lemon
He’ll fucking make you bleed from your melon
He’ll fucking go online and start Twitter beefing with Helen
Serius, that’s why I don’t take you serious
Cause your seriously more of a fake bitch than Siri is
Serius battles people that rhyme his name with “delirious holmes” and “furious poems”
But I’m experienced I’ll take Serius Jones and leave him in the same condition as Syrian homes
I’ll take a knife and write my lyrics inside face like hieroglyphics on the pyramid stones, you faggot
This drug deal image just isn’t going
You ain’t a D-boy, you ain’t selling zones
The only king pin (King Pen) he knows is Chilla Jones
You 6’2″ big ole bitch you, stop claiming you a pimp, even Bishop knows this shit’s true
You not a pimp you just a broke faggot who looking for another victim cause his rent’s due
This is you, on the ‘Gram showing their fans all the bitches that you been through
But that ain’t how a pimp moves
Shit, this guy came into Toronto started tell y’all ’bout the pimp shit like the shit’s new
But this is Toronto, this is what the chicks do
Shit I lived here for three months and…I thought I was a pimp too!

[Round 2: Serius Jones]
That’s cute
First of all I’m not a pimp, for the record
And that shit all you talk ’bout Cali you lying bro
But just last year you was in my room before Iron reciting flows
Talking ’bout “I don’t know, you think they gon’ like it bro?”
And I was like, “Your shit is fire though.”
But I was confused cause all he wanted to do was compare his rhymes
But then it made sense his friend is Lush One because you get all your energy from sharing lines
Ayo listen, these battle fans, no no no, excuse me
I said all you do is play the race card
Yet you talk about burning Jews but you can’t afford what a Hollow cost (holocaust)
But see wars cost money
You idolize guys like Hitler and act like him but, your little stash keep falling off
But see, these battle fans get wrapped up in the bread and beef like Arab hands
But see my niggas they’ll jump one of your average fans
Translation, we’ll pack a Stan (Pakistan)
See I been selling bombs
And in that desert will make you tear a wrist (terrorist)
And I ran dope from Afghanistan
Which means, I get more Arab Money than you
If you not a believer then let’s tally bands (Taliban)
See I can wait (Kuwait)
But see, as a Muslim I don’t act like I’m righteous
But I hate how you act like you down to provide the support for the crisis
Talking ’bout Al-Qaeda and ISIS like you don’t know they left thousands lifeless
Betray your own people but then say, “Nobody helps us.”
You ain’t even supposed to be scared to die holmes
But how is New York a no fly zone?
See you get high jacking just start blowing yourself up
Twitter fingers turn to bitter fingers
You stay ranting and raving
But if Dizaster’s your name then what planet you saving?
See you confused cause we all just wanna know why you mad
Cause everyone knows at 30 you lived at home with your dad
So it’s hard to believe your can’ will bust (Canibus) or you sling elbows
Cause when you get stuck you can just go to the pad
I said you can’t escape these bars even if you break outta jail
See when it come to battle we know you feel like the American government
Cause mid battle you ain’t afraid to take out a cell
I said, Nas snuffed Jesus when he was twelve
But speaking of twelve I’m riding shotgun, with a long machete
I tell ’em, “Take me where he at.” And if I wanna kill you not even the Lord can help me
Let’s say Jesus take the wheel, either (Ether) it’s gon’ get Super Ugly or I’ma reach over and rip God Son across the Belly
Ah man, by the way…you lost already

[Round 3: Dizaster]
Look, exactly, that’s all you had for us dawg
Three rounds of useless filler
Look if you ain’t got dudes around you to vouch for you then I doubt that you’se a killer
I’m a certified legend, I’m done fucking around with you beginners
I’ll pound you into smithereens and drown you in the river
And after I’m done with my rounds Steve Harvey can come out and announce you as the winner
Someone should’ve told this guy I don’t give a fuck
I’m beating a dead horse now he’s gon’ need to give up
Name the price you want you would’ve died over $500 bucks
When I’m on the stage I’m like Johnny Cage my punches are nuts
I’ll give his bitch the long pipe like Luigi and Mario
Peep the scenario they wanted to see Bachir and Toranio here in Ontario
But who they gave me though? A famous from way befo’
Ancient old, paleo’, basic flow, lazy slow
Rating low like the Chelsea Lately Show
So stop fucking with me before I go crazy bro
I’ll give his bitch the long pipe like Luigi and Mario
Peep the scenario they wanted to see Bachir and Toranio here in Ontario
But who they even gave me though? A famous from way befo’
Ancient old, paleo’, basic flow, lazy slow
Ratings low like Chelsea Lately’s Show
And I bring to you his latest quote
“Diz’, check out my battle with Jimz…it was crazy bro.”
How many mixtapes has he made befo’? 1,884
And everyone of ’em on underground stations they’ll never get played on any major serious radio
Cause no one takes Serius serious enough to play him on Sirius Radio
I’m saying he’s still trying to play it off, what kind of fuckery is this?
You need to calm down with all those strong flows
Cause I got a long nose that doesn’t mind butting into somebody’s business
Yo I don’t give a fuck what kind of gun you’re equipped with
You’ll become another statistic
And I ain’t talking ’bout running up and dumping the biscuit
I’m talking ’bout going online and sending your mother some dick picks
Fuck a gun, I’ll take a blade covered in rust and I’ll cut you with it
So fast your guts will be gut busting out the front you’ll be gushing out your stomach liquids
Even if the doctors stop the blood from running, well it doesn’t fix it
Cause I’ma show up a day afterwards like Game’s manager and punch you in your stitches
Wonder why I’m so furious
Whole time I couldn’t figure out if the guy bi or curious
But after letting Math slide by I’m sure he is
I’m a psycho, period
Let the knife go, blood running like a psycho, period
Ha, oh shit man, you don’t like my jokes, why? I’m hilarious
I’ll squeeze your smile open wide from side to side like Why So Serious?
But you know what? I know a bunch of personal shit about you I wasn’t gonna bring up
A ton of shit like the shit with Lush
How about Magic Fundings, Ashley, Megan Ashley, what you forgot about her?
You don’t think I’m friends with Balid, you don’t think this shit would occur?
Yeah, stop looking at me like this
Cause I know somebody who took your bitch
Oh yeah, you don’t believe me all up in the place right now?
Well go ahead Balid come and say it to his motherfucking face right now
I guess he didn’t believe that his bitch would leave him
Until he got her Taken like Liam Neeson
But what’s a pimp if his bitch don’t need him?
The whole point of this is, y’all was cool and you ended up not cool you ain’t a pimp and you was up in yo’ feelings
Bitch ass motherfucker
Yeah, you be on the track on some grimy shit
Yeah you caught a fucking disease from one of the hoodrats you were grimy with
Yeah you went to the doctors and asked what it was he said, “I can’t even describe the shit.”
Yo, you living proof that even the newest Mac(k)’s can get viruses

[Round 3: Serius Jones]
Ayo, I keep telling him I’m not a pimp
But this is the type of shit I mean
You tried to lookout
I said one day-
You know it’s funny to me I see little niggas in the hood I try to lookout
So I had a bitch I know come through, they was having a battle at a cookout
And uh, I don’t be fucking with bitches that’s outta pocket and the real ones know what I mean
So I let a bitch go with this nigga, what he start do?
Calling the phone, bringing her lean
Next thing you know he hating on me talking ’bout, “His real name is Saleem
I know where he lives, he got another bitch but he treat her like a queen.”
And this is the type of shit he doing
And y’all know fake niggas that ain’t silent
I fuck with real wolves that can tell you this nigga ain’t violent
Facts or nah? Sucka niggas
Anyway, so…I get a call about a movie, about battle rap
Tell me they want me to be the star of it
Say, there’s a video director with a small budget
But they tried to Lux me like, “Oh trust me you gon’ love it.”
Shout out to Rone, Pat, Hollow, Lux, Diz’ all of y’all was in it
Diz’ told me he was in it, I said, “Is he paying you?” He said, “Nah, fuck it.”
Well, that’s why I gotta come to crack your peanut live cause these niggas is all puppets
See he plays a battle rapper in a movie named Megatron
So what set you claiming? The Deceptacons?
I mean it hurt me to see the legends gone
Just bodied themselves to be groupies
And I mean you jinx yourself being in a movie called Bodied cause now you just bodied before the movie
{Slight choke}
I said um, I’m a boss dude
Pat Stay, DNA, Ars’ too, man I beat everybody you lost to
What’s disastrous is the effects that’s felt ’round your brain
I should’ve brought some baking soda cause we see how easy you melt down with ‘Cane
And that shit with O’fficial? You lost stripes man I can’t even respect you G
See you get so out of bounds it’s like we need someone to ref you G (refugee)
I’ll put a bullet in Diz’ knee (Disney) cause you Goofy, dawg stop it
So what you [?] fucked Math up?
But see I’ma go Bernie Madoff on you, nah that’s not off topic
That mean instead of just stealing money, I’m about to get rich for taking out a false profit/prophet
I said um, I was raised Muslim, right?
My name is Saleem…okay?
That means “bringer of peace and the undamaged”
I grew up with six in a three bedroom with two divorced parents
Serius is not Sirius, that’s the name of the brightest star
So I lived up to both my names cause I still ain’t got damaged
And I’m the first one shining and brought the light to y’all
See your name is Bachir, that means “bringer of good news”, right?
You fucking bastard
He’s so backwards, he named himself the opposite of good news, a disaster
You not a terrorist just cause you drop N-bombs
And the worst part about this, your family is gon’ see this
And you know what your father is gonna tell your mom?
“Mrs. Haram! I told you he has no respect it’s gone
I told you we are better off in Lebanon!”
{Serius speaks in Arabic}
Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Alhamdu lillaahi Rabbil ‘aalameen

Shout out to all my Muslim’s in here that know what that mean
That just means when you eating food you gotta say your grace, I mean
And I told y’all niggas man, I just speak from life experience
You should’ve have been in here playing with your death nigga, life is serious
See we both goats but we just ain’t the same GOAT
Cause now I’m the Greatest Of All Time and you forever my scapegoat

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