Frankie Phraser vs. Bender [Lyrics]

[Round 1: Frankie Phraser]
Bender, one of the best from Canada rapping
You got a gay name though fella, let’s get it out the way: Alex Buchanan
I mean wow, one of my all time favorites it’s a shame that you have to suffer
You coming off of battles at the Bunker to go against a man with hunger and talent structure
So you think he’s the better me? Think FIFA 17
I’ve only just started the game and I’m about to be playing Alex hunter
Clown your part until you’re outta Charlie, you think Al can pass me?
He better quarantine off his street, the Scot in me telling me he don’t know what I got in my locker b I’m doing, al-Megrahi
You got very sick rhymes
I remember when you said “brains in the backseat like when John Kennedy died”
So go back to that you loser ’cause Bender please
Bitch this is London, Tempa T shit
We’ll make you get out ya’ car, quicker than Onassis moved rushed, from the Dallas shooter
So if this man’s a shooter, then I’m Hernán Crespo mixed with Batistuta
Destroying ya’ life, built up a poison inside like Alice Cooper
So you got two options fammo, go sober or death
I mean, ’cause you think ’cause I was a fan first I owe you respect? But homie you’re next
I don’t wanna get online and hear about no Bender bars going over ya’ head
Not when I can just straight up bend a bar right over his head
So you couldn’t get me out of here with DNA’s slogan in a battle send
You couldn’t get me out of here with help from Ant and Dec
In a room or on cam you’re dead
I’ll put your face through a bar so hard that it snaps ya’ neck
Ram ya’ head, till it leaves antler dents like Baphomet
Beat me, it’s not ’09, you got a better chance of hitting that lotto
Yeah we both known as writers like Chilla and Hollow
I mean I been drink at times, but at my age I guess I’m enjoying my youth
You’re doing it ’cause your dreams have withered man, wallow
I’m sicker than, ipecac, you drown yourself in booze until you’re hitting that bottle
Depression, regression, watch his ass sink, like an Instagram model
Stomp him to death, I’m a loony, tune into what I do next
He ain’t got a Scooby Doo, not intercept
For future reference, I’m only here to take his mask off, reveal what’s in the flesh
So get scrappy, put him to sleep like a dog in the vet
Ain’t nothing funny, there’ll be no comic effect
This is how Phrase reacts to possible threats
So you keep on acting animated, and a maniac’s what he will get
I’ma smoke you in a round, like a Cherokee puff-piping
Reality shows you fake like Celebrity Love Island
Slave labor, I put in work doing dirt, like a Senegalese blood diamond
Casually fighting in the game, ’70s club violence
So fuck it, cocaine lines of that white snow
One bump and his mind’s blown
No change up in his flight mode
I am quick to dumb the fuck out ’cause I am cold
So bring ya’ crew, you got Patience pussy, I don’t

[Round 1: Bender]
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I was told you got a yacht, way up the coast
So large and grandiose can’t even dock it, it just floats
He’s, got it in a cove in this, spot that’s all enclosed
There’s not even a road that isn’t blocked as you approach
I mean you can wander down the slope, but that’s as far as you could go
They say not even at low tide could you opt to get up close
I mean the water, where it’s posted, is so impossibly remote
Basically I’m saying I gotta take this chopper to your boat
You a optimistic bloke tryna call yourself the goat
Now there’s a T. Rex where you be at and it got you on a rope
Pardon me one moment, let me conference with the host
Next round I’m being the timekeeper, I wanted to clock him once he spoke
Francis I’m sorry if this is hurtful
But your bird look like Winston Churchill fucked a Ninja Turtle
She a’ight though, I know her type truly
She the prototype groupie with the overripe booty
All I had to say is “We can go inside cutie”
And she sucked me in the telly, like the Poltergeist movie
I was gonna say, ‘shooting skeet at the telly like Duck Hunt’
I drag a sharp blade ‘cross your fiver
Boy you really wanna arms race with Oppenheimer?
I turn a dark space to a star-shaped wall of fire
You playing chicken with a Large Hadron Collider
Frankie Phraser, well that’s a, fancy name for a candy raver
Danny walks you on a leash and makes you call him ‘Daddy Danger’
Danny thank me later
I cancel ya’ bloodline, Danny Rayburn
In fact, I turn to a motherfucking gladiator if I gotta hear you stretch another sentence out like bad behavior
So we can go punch for punch, until your melon gets foggy
Have you seeing double gangster, this is Reggie and Ronnie
So let’s hear these bars about your penmanship
Composed of Soul’s leftover shit for me he blessed you with

[Round 2: Frankie Phraser]
So, people abroad think that London’s a decent place
But he’s stuck here with me today
So it’s nothing but punishment that he will face
He’s gonna think he’s fucking with Green Berets on a government secret base or come and just meet the Greys
You ain’t my idol no more fam, man’s a target
I’ma do you worse than Eurgh and Cruger and Bam and Ark did
So if this man’s a artist, watch me make the Sistine Chapel garbage
If you was from where I’m from you’d be down road, selling your paintings outside a Camden market
West London pussy, I got a bigger pair of balls than Randy Marsh’s
So how much of a Stan can he be, if he’s battling Cartman?
I mean I can send you higher than Aladdin parking the magic carpet
Or what, higher than Callum Martin when he discovered what the magic plant is
So don’t give me none of that Unan hype
That ‘man has to live or man has to harvest or man are farming on cattle ranches’
Or you can literally get hit with a cal like Alan Partridge
I’m the GOAT, I’m just back to prove it
Anyone that thinks that this match is stupid must not realize, Michael Scofield shit, yeah Frank the blueprint
You say I memorize your lines, yeah that’s some true shit
But the way you been choking fella, I mean one of us had to do it, let’s have it right
So you on sniff or crack or both?
‘Cause he been sitting at his home, with nothing to give him actual hope
He shoulda been living in fear of me, fuck a conspiracy theorist team
We don’t have to watch the Prison Planet show, to see this bitch called Alex jones
Stunted on him like ‘Zim zimma’ in a big Bimmer, batter up like a switch hitter
If you think I’m in ya’ rearview it’s only ’cause you don’t get the big picture like a wing mirror

[Round 2: Bender]
When I heard he ghostwrites for legends, I was a skeptic, I hit him up anyhow
Said “It’s Bender pal”, got my checkbook out
“Just tell me how many pounds it’s gon’ take to write my second round?”
He never got back to me…..Time!
While you were sniffing Adderall to write this
I was drinking ayahuasca, tweeting dick pics to ISIS
You my biggest fan, why would you wanna spar?
You know how a secret admirer works? Your name should not be on the card
I know I’m one to talk but you got flabby
Jolly and all happy, I mean God damn, you been looking like a Dothraki John Candy
Fucking Aquaman of Nottingham, you grew up underwater
You had a dolphin for a prom date, you could lose the tough persona
I checked your album, no I didn’t, who the fuck would wanna?
We can all assume your music is a humid dumpster sauna
I mean good Lordy, Phraser
I will poison your teacup like Walter White did to Laura Fraser
You looking at God, the ordinator
They booked this as Foreman-Frazier, it’s more McGregor versus Money May, shit I’m doing a cordial favor
I’m feeling like a, Norse invader that raided before the Normans came ashore you waging war, I’m taking yours, you better get that sorted player
I mean, stick a fork in him, he done, Cornish game bird, you’re a wanker
Of course I came to, scorch your name, I’m playing a reporter’s game
I coordinate your downfall like the Tory papers did to Corbyn’s Labour
I don’t care who you got in your corner pussy
If my money’s short, they gon’ have to ring you up my Jordan hoodie
I will pistol-whip your face to, Yorkshire pudding
So when I break the biscuit in half to get that paper it’s not a fortune cookie
If I’m here in the ring, get ready to see these Sasquatch paws
Ah fuck it, I’m hearing the ring, I’m ready to eat, that’s Pavlov’s dog

[Round 3: Frankie Phraser]
So you bound to jump, off a bridge ’cause ya’ album sucks
These motherfuckers call me to ghostwrite as a compliment
‘Cause they hit me up ’cause I’m the guy who knows how to punch so you shit outta luck
‘Cause I been ghostwriting these whole rounds for months
So listen, different breed, Frank was born with it in his genes, man of war with the military
Take him out, hack his corpse at the guillotine, battle more than the Middle East
Watch me make my mind make things fly around the room and smash the floor into smithereens
This is meant to be me, standing tall as I live my dreams
But nah, I have an unnatural form of ability
And watch, as the cam records all that mystery like Paranormal Activity
Third round, you know I can hang with him, so save ya’ breath
They say you’re vets, but Phraser’s next
I could be good luck or bad luck, so break a leg, or say ‘Macbeth’
You from the land of Shania Twain songs
You only popping now ’cause I likes a Drake song
I’m here to take what’s mine from this soon-to-be-retired stray dog
And once this round cracks him in the head, it’s something he’s gonna be tryna shake off like Michael J. Fox
You ain’t got no one else in your crosshairs, Frank’s your only target
So you musta thought about this, you been sat at home in darkness
Nah bullshit, he’s gonna be, acting as though he’s past this
Trick-tricking the crowd, on some Calicoe and Ars shit
Grumpy old man needs to pay the kid, why is that? ‘Cause Al a moany bastard
I don’t follow the timeline or the guidelines so just think
If I’m out of this world I guess that’s why I’m so legit
Notice this, different space and time I’m noticed in
My mind’s eye focused it like a wormhole’s bright light opening, that’s the Einstein-Rosen bridge
These dead celebrities are never getting up
You ain’t a celebrity anyway, you a ten-a-penny chump
I’m the best there ever was like Bret in wrestling trunks
And I’ma fucking die a legend like the 27 Club
Watch me take shots with a bottle in my hand, I’ma take this guy out
Fatal I’ll scalp this Mayall right now, I’ma break his mind down
I’ma wake up from this Bender with no hangover like “Shit, that was a crazy night out”
And you won’t wake up from this Bender like Amy Winehouse
You put the ‘Al’ in alcoholic mate, dude is proper
Fuck from the source, he could use a doctor
King of the Dot boy, never been on Smack, but you are in recovery, so who’s ya’ sponsor? Fucking let’s get it Exclusiv Vodka?
Bender, I am not your lesser, I am your successor
So with that being said, what I’ve written’s not to mess with fam, it’s gotten very graphic
Novels ever-classic like what’s in Terry Pratchett, yeah I got some scary tactics
Shit’s gonna get to flashing, on some Men in Black shit
Walking dead, wanting flesh, this zombie gets to spazzing
On this geriatric, nothing but dread, when I throw shade in the field, you’d think you watching Edgar Davids
So think Johnny Depp was acting, we know Donnie gets to ratting
Box of death, hoverlift, Johnny Hendrix scrapping
This is vodka [?] the fabric, heartbreaker, like Thomas Petty jamming so come rock with Lenny Kravitz
You don’t want a wrestling match, this the Rock to Perry Saturn
This is, comic legend madness, Eddie Brock, mixed with Brock and Eddie’s classics, so keep [?] Bender that’s it
Take him to a forest deaded that quick with your body rotten, left with maggots in a swamp, and then abandoned like I’m Donald Henry Gaskins
I can do what you do
Stacking bodies, man’ll murder him, ’99 shit
I’m only here to leave skulls in the field like Alex Ferguson

[Round 3: Bender]
You know what rhymes with, wisely spent cash?
See me I’d go with, a high-speed jet pack
Frank was leaning more towards a, Chinese neck tat
Why’d he get that?
Can you read Cantonese even? You just blindly picked that?
Is that Combo Five with an egg roll and an iced tea? Yes lad!
Salute to the general, I respect that
So now that your prospects for Lloyds in London are null and voided
You could sit around the house like the Bubble Boy collecting unemployment
You can bet his mum’s annoyed with him, what’s so fucking poignant
Is he still looks like a mug from Croydon on a break from scrubbing toilets
My mark in rap, that’s hard to pass, like a Harvard class
You barking back, get your face in your chest, artist pass
Beat him up? I should beam ’em up like a Martian craft
I’m mean as fuck, you could wrap it up, it’s a party hat
Bars are stacked on the bard in fact got bars for that like armored bands that guard the back where the guards are at
Get, Marvin Nash let’s carve and gash with a shard of glass
I, start to laugh at the, marker tags on your starter cap
Might, catch a charge cardiac paddles for, heart attacks
I make him, hard to gas like a car you crashed with a carbon tax
Sergeant packing arms, the lad gotta move, that’s a army brat
Shouts to Hindu Kush, this is karma back for the Charter Act
Shark attack and you ain’t got no arms to splash
The boy flipped when the coin did, that’s Harvey with the Arkham Bat
I got seven words, like the Carlin act: I just toasted Frank’s spirit, cheers, Armagnac
You not stressing the king, what you finna come up?
Oh you got next in a league that won’t exist in a month?
Seriously when’s the last time y’all seen some growth? How’d y’all sink so low?
Don’t Flop went from the seed you sowed, to a scene exploding every single show, remember seeing Soul?
But now the glass ceiling’s closed and sealed for those that break their back while others scheme for dough, the whole scene’s been sold
It’s GrindTime all over, and I’m gon’ need to see them go, let me speak this slow
Don’t take a secret code, in the streets to know
Y’all should besiege the throne, make that seat your own
I say go seize control off of these CEOs
I was thinking you were the only one that could end Cruger’s reign of terror
That was back when you had the, facial hair of Che Guevara not Dave Navarro
I’m on some Mr. Universe shit, well I should probably get this clear
I haven’t worked out in a while but this the body of the year

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