No beginning slogan today, we gon’ do this properly
I took our battle serious, Dre, this here a rivalry
I switched my whole shit up for this and shelved the comedy
It’s ironic you got molested, ‘cause y’all ‘bout to see a whole ‘nother side of me (sodomy)!
“Hey, it’s Franklin” lookin’ motherfucker
Your whole style’s Attack of the Clones-themed
“Shootin’ dice in Hell is the only way you roll deep”
If you buy your girl some pads, it’s for her slow leak
If I buy your girl some pads – ah-ha! – both knees
Watch out, guys, it’s the Loud Boys – they smoke weed
I’m from Team Homi, I kill people…with my whole team
Who you brought wit’ you? Fuckin’ Bonus…and Holmzie?
Those your OGs? Oh, jeez…
Only reason you got more views than me is because of SMACK
But I’m poppin’ now, lame
And my ass is doin’ numbers: that’s that pocket dial fame
Imagine the headlines – all the bloggers now say
After white boy burnt the house down, they forgot about Dre
Alcoholic, ‘bout to take a Red Stripe to the head like I’m drinkin’ wit’ Rufio
Or school him wit’ a Dangerous Mind – don’t have to listen to Coolio
I got a M-16 wit’ verse fire, and I keep the shit in the studio
Doot-doot-doot-doot! Shit sound like the beginning of Yu-Gi-Oh!
People fall asleep when you rap, Dre
If he asks to spar, say no
He’ll be rehearsing wit’ his wife on the honeymoon, and every bar, bae doze (Barbados)
Someone tell Randy I’m a legend-killer
My flow tighter than his Balmain clothes
And these punches come outta nowhere – that’s why they are (R) KOs!
You shoulda stayed loyal to Beasley, he created fame for you
Instead of running to King of the Dot and sayin’ this ain’t the stage for you
You coulda came to iBattle – we got a chain for you
And that’s word to Rainbow Princess: pussy, I’ll make a name for you!
I said, overreact, and get poked in the throat: I’ll Vulcan a fan
Let somethin’ hot shoot the size of a thot juice and get to moldin’ the can’
I punched wit’ my last two opponents, and both of them ran
I’m Kakashi Sensei, it’s either he wit’ the shit, or he gon’ bolt from the hands
Nerd who? White boy where?
Come see me flex
I know everywhere in New York where the fronto and beedies kept
You lost this one, Dre, but at least your girl can say she beat Lexx
And if the bitch gets pregnant, I’mma push her down the PG steps!
Where’s Quban at?
Quban said he was gonna shoot Patrick Thompson
Who the fuck does he think he is, Ruger Rell?
You lost to GE, lil’ boy – you should shoot yourself!
Suck my dick and write a book about it, Andre
[Round 1: Dre Dennis]
URL said there’s areas I need to address, and I showed the map
Soon as I entered development, now I’m where Holmz’ (homes) is at
They said, “We’ll bring you back. Just leave him dead and (end) here’s the road for that.”
I see my comp’, Lexx (complex), I’ll show him around…this my coldest act (cul-de-sac)
A Loud Boy!
Who put this reggie bitch on board? This ain’t Rocket Power
Soft punches: Sock ‘em Boppers
Keep checkin’ the arms like I forgot to shower
Spot the coward, runnin’ to the rear of his house while I cock the chopper
Got the ratchet runnin’ to the back: “You are not the father!”
You rapped wit’ Zig Zag, now got you some Loud
Like Oscar D. Proud, you got the most confident style
He be cheesin’ while I’m rappin’, all cocky and wild
Amazon package: wit’ my delivery, you’ll still get boxed with a smile
Loud! Double .9s: Warren Sapp
Rock you, then your whore get clapped
Shoot her boobs after, Lexx
Lugers movin’ torch her (torture) rack
Lexx is a semi-skinny nigga that’s still sorta fat
And tell Blac Chyna you want your mothafuckin’ daughter back!
It’s like the hundredth time I’ve heard it, no big deal
Ash Ketchum a soft-ass kid
I should throw him off a cliff for (Clifford) thinkin’ dog that big
I draw that Sig, and that’ll make him pause that quick
Like Selma, this nigga Luthor scared to cross that bridge!
All my niggas ride for the thrill
Lock-poppin’ the steel
You a cop in the field, but we squeezin’ on double DEs (Ds) like we coppin’ a feel
Lexx, this (Lexus) L right in your grill
Shocked when I peel
Son fake, gun shake, lunch break: he’ll get clocked wit’ the mill’ (meal)
On King of the Dot for the thrill, then swap to the real
Lack of drive and the skill to reach the top of the hill
On King of the Dot, he white and he chill
On SMACK, he a mobster, Team Homi, and trill
I should hit you wit’ two .50s for playin’ both sides of the field!
I’m actually Latin, but it is what it is
He gettin’ bodied in this ring
Why these guys soup Lexx (suplex)?
Got you wrecked
This box’ll change a nigga: Erykah Badu sex!
Want the fade? I’ll clap him, then I’ll line you next
And what I raise enter Lexx (intellects) like a IQ test!
He thinkin’ of steppin’, I’m squeezin’ the weapon
Arms locked, like newlyweds’ first drink at a wedding
And he think his squad royal? But you say they not loyal
So these automatic subs will take these players out for you
Doctor losin’ his practice: no more patience (patients) for me
For nicks and (Nixon) presidents, I was wavin’ the piece (peace)
Saw Lexx, and then steel on site (Lexington Steele), bang his Caprice
Witnesses saw me throw him in the back, sprayin’ the heat
Countin’ the rings in the trunk, like they tryna find the age of a tree!
Yo, like, can’t get right
I don’t talk, but I score
Hopscotch: you’ll get boxed and chalked on the floor
Sparkin’ when war
Go to this cracker and fire – you ‘bout to get caught wit’ some more (s’more)
Startin’, I’m barkin’ the Larkin, the .4!
‘Bout to march in yo’ apartment wit’ .4s!
Like they ain’t remove the security tag, ‘cause I’m ringin’ when I walk through the DOOR!
He can’t rap like this!
Bitch, it’s a fact!
Full-court press, my niggas just trap
Vanessa and Baby Girl, how I live with the MAC
So I catch him at his crib wit’ the gat
End of House Party: I’m in the crib waitin’ for the Kid wit’ the strap!
In fact? You a damn bitch to me
Shootin’, fam’ sprintin’, see?
Dude just ran instantly
If you and Bangz see his rival, you just hype the nigga up wit’ too much damn energy
Makes sense…’cause Lexx Luthor just soup a man (Superman) enemy
Came in with Ave and Mike – see how good that class went?
Me and Bonus would cook, then fans just…wanted to get the Loud off of SMACK like a ‘hood transaction
You know, like, when you fake givin’ dap, but it’s kush fam’ passin’?
Laughin’, so go and joke ‘bout Nick Cannon and shit
How many PGs I got, how many battles I did
Laugh about my weight loss and my marriage and shit
‘Cause when the jokes stop, you still gotta RAP in this bitch!
BITCH! Loud, nigga!
[Round 2: Lexx Luthor]
You look like a girls’ softball coach
Yup…I wrote for the casket
Then I got lazy, and right here was s’posed to be a punch about coaching in Madden
See, your battle on Wild n’ Out is like Holmzie’s battle wit’ that old dude-
(*Brief pause in the action, as some people in the venue are talking way too loudly over the performance*)
Aye, b-be quiet! I came all the way from Croatia for this shit, I flew 27 hours
Uh, you look like a girls’ wrestling coach – let’s do that one
I wrote for the casket
This is where I got lazy, and right here was s’posed to be a punch about the coaching in Madden
Your battle on Wild n’ Out is like Holmzie’s battle wit’ that old dude
Shit was dope, they were spazzin’
Moon said, “The dentist can’t get a gun out your mouth”
Nope, but he can teach you to choke on the Cannon!
I pay attention to current affairs
You know what keep you current? A fair
Every time I’ve seen you and Prep paired, it’s ‘cause you weren’t prepared
Oversaturation’s killin’ your career, and that’s a big burden to bear
You know, kinda like Winnie-the-Pooh on Sesame Street: Big Bird and the bear
You sweat, like, 400 pounds out in Funkadelic
(Facts – mu’fucker looked like patent leather, like the left foot of the Space Jams and shit)
Look, you sweat 400 pounds out in Funkadelic, lost all your stamina
You look like Snuggles the Bear, bitch: being soft’s in your character
My drugs will flood your school, get to callin’ the janitor
I got coke so white, it wants to talk to your manager
I keep China on the plate: Yao Ming dishes
He quoted Danja Zone’s “hardly could win” bar…that’s why I clown these bitches
I been told you ‘bout your wife – where y’all found these bitches?
Last event, I ain’t have a “gun so big” bar, but she asked me, “How big is it?”
What a whore…why would she ask me that?
Anyway, at the last draft event, I was in that bitch’s gums
So before you get married, notice her stomach start to kick and bump
Think of me when you get the birth certificate, and before the name’s written, son
Remember that’s my baby, and it don’t got no name until I give it one!
Andre 3000 Battles…what’s good, pimpin’?
You meal-prep, I mill’ prep: we cook different
Back on the Ultimate Rap League, huh? We ‘hood spittin’
So I brought a rhyme book like your dead grandparents: good writtens! (riddance)
This the most dangerous stage in the world…and you ain’t ready for the beats
If I wail on him, it’s gon’ break a levee at the beach
Think Pinocchio, when he found a thread up in the sea
‘Cause I can still pull strings in the belly of the beast!
The media love me and my city
Blue razor- blue laser, rubber grip
Catch me loadin’ the bitch, like Tomb Raider bufferin’
Hey, stop talking during the battle
You guys wanna gossip? Do it later
Do that gay shit when I’m not rappin’
Listen- ya little secret-tellin’ weirdos…
Uh, what was I sayin’? Where was I at? (Tomb Raider! Razor!)
Oh- blue laser, rubber grip!
Catch me loadin’ the bitch, like Tomb Raider bufferin’
Wedding massacre, New York Times, the groom lay in front of it
Big Daddy: when I get pissed, the newspaper cover it!
I got this plate for a rack, and I’m ‘bout to go to Hooters for seconds
If my people black, you gon’ need a doctor, King – Luthor’s a legend
50 straps in the U-Haul, pussy, I always move wit’ a weapon
And if he act hype, a Beam make him fade: it’s super effective!
I wonder why you are fuckin’ wit’ me
Holmzie’s sittin’ there wit’ a- lookin’ like he got fuckin’ nut on his sleeve
And you standin’ there tryin’ to make it work
With all these fuckin’ sweat stains on your shirt
Boop! Keep bangin’
I thought you’d look – you didn’t…good job
[Round 2: Dre Dennis]
Luthor cheatin’, and it’s not on Coretta
You said I was molested, flat-out lyin’, whatever
You make up shit to get a homi together
Fat bitches takin’ pictures: you use bullshit angles to make a body look better
And I never made a mistake when changin’ my weight
‘Cause Smack will say that I ate what was takin’ my plates
Was starving, embracin’ the taste
Now it’s great I’m in shape
‘Cause I can finally fit this fuckin’ .38 on my waist!
Let go of cases like bargaining deals
Like Jax, I’m Black and I’m armed wit’ the steel
He in his car, I’mma peel
While he drivin’, start sparkin’ the mill’
You’ll get everything when you pass – you’ll get it all in your wheel (will)
For real! Like Dre Dennis when the hammers’ll burst
‘Cause nigga, losin’ to these Cannons will hurt
I’ll blam him at first
The nigga on your fam’ gettin’ murked
They’ll get the TECs (text) if mine are (minor) into Lexx like a Amber Alert!
This cracker happy I emptied the gat
Is that right?
Like a trade on Draft Night, I’ll be switchin’ the caps
Give him that, or use the blade and have it slashin’ his flesh
Like Frankenstein, the metal jammed in his neck
A lil’ machete gon’ stab him, then rest
Just a minute, though
“Hypnotize” video, ‘cause somethin’ big (B.I.G.) goin’ back into (in a) Lex(x)!
I’m grabbin’ the TECs and ride to your bitch, I’m sprayin’ hot shit
Used the .4, but only two caught her (quarter) like games in college
Nigga, my state is wildin’
I don’t need a reason
If the nigga traded, Jersey flamin’ for nothin’: Isaiah Thomas!
Why they bring they guns? They worthless
No contest – if they bang, I’ll lift the .9 like the dunk ain’t perfect
Burst it, I’ll wreck shit, he bled when the blikker spray
When I show him this, Lexx sit (dyslexic) – he was red (read) in a different way!
I’m lovin’ the pistol play
Out the whip, I’mma grab heat
Yvette in the drive-thru: the rubber grip in the backseat
Find out where this cat stay down
Jody in front of Pete crib: I’ll Snoop wit’ the window halfway down!
So fuck ya set, like I hear he got no cable
‘Cel won’t help you, like Siri not enabled
You fear these Glocks
I’ll shoot you in your city, shots is fatal
The iron got you boxed in your element like the Periodic Table!
Bastard, these pops’ll raise you
The toy isn’t loud
Got a couple that’s fuckin’ silent – won’t hear noise from the pound
Fuckin’ silent? No noise from the pound?
Exploitin’ this clown
The niggas you by weak, but they ain’t avoidin’ this round
Nothin’ left in the deuce, I’ll grab my shorty weapon and shoot
So I’m squeezin’ my bitch arm like domestic abuse!
Catchin’ this dude whippin’ in his new car, my wheel rock ya
Tried to kick me wit’ his foot, I drill-stomped it
Nigga tried to run wit’ one leg…for real, chopped it
Headshot like cougars and MILFs: still got it!
The TEC and the Glock
Nah, you’ll get a wet back from the 12 like a Mexican cop
Shootin’ wild, then run away like I’m Chef wit’ the shot
Weapon’ll pop, his bitch stomach, then her death comin’ – watch
Break a rib and (ribbon) off her (offer), Lexx, like it’s fresh off the lot!
We all victims
That’s speakin’ my language when y’all spittin’
Either I’m gon’ die or Lexx (dialects) gon’ see that I talk different
Listen, so go and joke ‘bout Nick Cannon and shit
How many PGs I got, how many battles I did
Laugh about my weight loss and my marriage and shit
‘Cause when the jokes stop, you still gotta rap in this bitch!
[Round 3: Lexx Luthor]
Aye! It’s Team Homi – shout out to Rum Nitty
Everybody shut the fuck up and fuck wit’ me!
We ain’t gonna split that money, but either way, he gettin’ a buck-fifty!
It’s almost half – yeah, round it off
We gon’ round it up
You partnered wit’ Prep for views
That was a amateur surprise
There’s, like, ten people in Loud Boys – you couldn’t grab ‘em up to ride?
If I was jumpin’ somebody, I’m taggin’ in my guy
Yeah, nigga – a new challenger arrived!
Get holy shoulder blades if they’re spittin’
See, I’ll split y’all both the same: now there’s symmetry
Your blood leak, I watch y’all plasma spill
Y’all share chemistry
I’ll make your heart go out to him like, “Here…sympathy.”
Nigga, I set precendence wit’ headshots
I use Kennedy cloth on him
I’d nail Black – Lexx hit me to goth on him
Channel in, and I bet that signal get lost on him
Unpaid cable bill: (*smack*) X finna tee (Xfinity) off on him!
Listen…YOU the biggest culture vulture in here!
That shit got me ready to cuss
You battled, like, 40 people in this room, and they didn’t get any buzz
How many niggas paid to get in the Trap, bro? You got plenty of bucks
[Lexx Luthor + Xcel]
You used all that money to pay for your wedding…and he ain’t invite any of us!
You ain’t invite any of us!
I said, I got your bitch in her Trunks like Vegeta’s her pops
With the point of a finger, I’ll freeze-a (Frieza) your block
Who cares, y’know? URL, King of the Dot
Either way, I’m whippin’ these corns: bitch, I’m cream of the crop!
Any time you see me, I’m keepin’ a Glock
I had it for 18 years, so it’s legal to cop
Let’s go to IKEA, get a couple trees and a cot
And put the whole shit together without readin’ the box
I’m a genius…a fuckin’ genius…
I listen to whales to go to bed, that got me snoozin’ properly
I literally sleep wit’ the fishes like Luca Brasi
Ayo, a whale is not a fish, bro
Use the shotty
Nah, I watch Naruto – I’mma Uz’ him, ahki (Uzumaki)!
When I get down, I kill a cam’: I love Purple Haze
You’d get killed by pepper spray – your favorite rapper’s Murder Mace (Mase)
I could do what you and DNA do, and make punches about the current days
You know, “I’ll fuck your grandma Irma ‘til you have to get her a cane (Hurricane)”
I ain’t a gangsta? I know a thing or two
Pep vs. Kid Deph: my whole team got a Sig (cig’) for you!
After this, let’s get high! My weed is the best
Save my number as “Zorro” in your phone – we can take a Z to the chest!
Yeah, ask your bitch, she know how my clout taste
She calls me her drill sergeant, ‘cause I’m all about face
I’ve actually been freestyling for, like, the past 12 bars
They haven’t called time on me
I’ve been done for a long time – time!
[Round 3: Dre Dennis]
I said…fuck Team Homi
Got the guns, and I’mma spray
Xcel hopped in, you gon’ run when I’mma spray
But when they break up, I’m gettin’ the X (ex) bitch ‘cause that’s the one that got away!
I said that
That was trash! (*cracks up laughing*)
You finally got invited to the party
He repped WeGoHard to get this shot, this nigga sorry
His team kinda played a part, see?
Chris Tucker in Dead Presidents, ‘cause you got on SMACK from a Homi and a Army
Lost to Bedaffi, wasn’t bred (bread) for the Green
I’ll get his crew torn (crouton)
POW! Pull it out from the couch: it’s like a futon
Put a small cap in his dome – I’m on what you (Jew) on
Grip on the back of his head like I’m holdin’ a newborn!
Buzz and Woody: the toys talkin’
Luthor tryna stop these niggas from bustin’ (bussin’)
See what this boy caught in (boycottin’)!?
Boys offerin’ a rack to clap him – that’s good
I’ll let these go for half-price like food stamps in the ‘hood!
You blowin’ smoke sayin’ the Loud not strong
Cal’ lit (Khaled), movin’ crazy like the “Wild Thoughts” song
I’ll cut you if that stupid smile not gone
This baby gettin’ stuck in the back of Lex(x) like the child lock on!
Cal’ drawn, leave everybody exposed – it’s like a nudist beach
Give you a round, trip for nothin’: this nigga flew in cheap
Shoot the piece, I’ll look for any reason just to use the heat
Makin’ excuses to dump the ratchet like, “It’s not you, it’s me!”
Shoot ya freak, swingin’ plastic like Little League bats
If she trip, then she clapped
That bitch will get the blazer on the ground: I’m bringin’ chivalry back!
The Smith? Think Andre Young: you’ll get hits from the Wesson (West end)
They on Andre Johnson, so this bitch get the TECs in (Texan)
Rise the chopper, and shoot his jaw
It sink, then it stretch him
Like Obama, this black can’ went into Lexx chin (win an election)
Tre nasty: get school lunch
One-night stand: I don’t give two fucks
Magazine at your door when them issues come
Mill’ up in his grill, and it lit dude up
I’ll let it ring ‘round his mouth like lil’ kids that lick they lips too much!
You chump…you ain’t shootin’ dog: you ain’t no vet
He on his Grizzly? Mike Conley ain’t never face no TECs (techs)
Want the fade, though!? Bet
Ace Hood – watch
I’mma knock your face off for havin’ that fake role, Lexx (Rolex)
You say random shit, punch with one flow, and that’s quite true
So it’s nothin’ for me to rap like you
Like…”Fuck Dre Dennis and his 25th PG
George of the Jungle: white boy just hit these trees”
I would never say some shit like that
“I roll wit’ Swave Sevah and the clips he squeeze
I got old players shootin’ like the BIG3 league!”
I would say that
Because you’ve got white privilege – we don’t get that, chump
This shit remind me of White Men Can’t Jump
Sidney was doin’ crazy moves, he even flipped that once
But the highlight of the movie was when Billy did that dunk, and he did that ONCE!
We watched SMACK DVDs-
I watched Digimon
We watched SMACK DVDs and we related
Y’all just studied Summer Madness and imitated!
We grew up doin’ ciphers, every day inside the streets
Would battle so much in the lunchroom, that we forgot to eat!
Bangin’ the table, playin’ “Grindin’”, ‘cause we ain’t got a beat!
It’s cool wit’ y’all that he copies that respect!? Well, not wit’ me
All these white rappers stealin’ our format…
Real Deal rap like he would be lost on tracks
And we even got the police (Pulice) tryna chalk all Blacks
Don’t wanna hear Joe until Power come on – facts!
Glueazy here ‘cause Bigg K and Raw gone, scrap!
And I’ll stop Lex(x) from movin’ like he caught four flats
They thought pushin’ y’all was smart? They was wrong on that!
’Cause I’m the only white guy that belongs on SMACK!
(*Everyone in the venue goes absolutely bonkers over that last bar to wrap up the battle*)
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